I banked it for later and spent the rest of the wet afternoon helping Cam transport the piano to the big old house Locke and Nash had bought for their queen.
After, we escorted Willow home.
“Are you going to tell my dad?”
Cam gave her a tough look. “Tell him what? That you did something dangerous as shit with the car he’s told you a thousand times to be careful with?”
“It wasn’t dangerous.”
“Fucking was. Stupid too, and your dad has enough idiots in his life for that. Call one of us next time, eh? We’ll always ride out for you, kiddo. Even fucking Dodger.”
I flicked the water from my helmet into Cam’s face.
He didn’t blink.
Willow laughed and hugged him, and I could see how much her easy affection meant to him.
When she was safely inside, we rode out again, speeding into the driving rain but already wet enough not to care. Cam stopped a dozen more times, his phone never quiet as I shadowed him from place to place. As night replaced day, it dawned on me that he had as little desire to return to an empty house as I did.
It was how I found myself in a lay-by with him, smoking again, under the thick branches of an old oak tree, and dreaming of Ranger while Cam glared at the latest text message to annoy him. It was still raining. I missed the sunshine of my island home almost as much as I missed Ranger, but the patter of the fat drops hitting the hedgerow behind us had become a sound that soothed me.
“He didn’t have to go.”
I sat up from the slouch I’d found on the back of the Ducati.Asher. I could tell by the intensity in Cam’s gaze—these Kings, they always looked at me this way when they talked about Ranger. As if they worried I might dropkick his heart off the edge of the world. “You mean the haulage run?”
“Yup.” Cam blew smoke to the damp clouds. “Ranger didn’t have to go. Or you could’ve gone with him.”
I took a deep inhale of toxic smoke, enjoying the burn more than I ever did the vodka that didn’t touch the sides. “He did have to go. And I had to stay.”
“Why?”
“He has never left me.”
Cam frowned. “So?”
“So...” I searched for the words.Englishwords I only tripped over during sex or when Ranger was this heavy on my mind. “He has not said, but I think he needed to know that he could. His injury...” I tapped my temple. “It scared him more than he will talk about, and he does not like to rely on people.”
“Even you?”
“Even me.”
Cam nodded, processing. “I never thought about it like that.”
“Why would you?”
“Cos it makes fucking sense. Saint was like that... after the fire. He needed us, but there were moments when he needed himself more.”
“That is a good way of putting it.” I finished my cigarette. Stubbed it out and handed it to Cam to place in the tin he kept in his pocket. “Not everyone is like that, though. Even if they think they are.”
Cam studied me, rain dripping from his riding jacket onto his denim-clad legs. “Who are you talking about?”
“Folk. He is unhappy.”
“Did you hack my phone?”
“What?”
Cam showed me his screen. A message from Rubi filled it.