NASH: fuck off
RUBI: I’m serious. Nashie, it’s gonna be fine
NASH: i know
RUBI: You do? I haven’t prepared for this
NASH: go away
RUBI: Can’t. Won’t. Can spar if you need to blow off some steam?
NASH: i don’t
RUBI: Sure about that? Oh... OH. Different steam? See, I think you need Superlungs for that
NASH: terry reid? what about the other shit you said?
RUBI: That was for someone else’s make up sex
NASH: who?
RUBI: Not me, obviously
NASH: it’s not that obvious
RUBI: I’ll allow that because you’re sad
NASH: i’m not sad
RUBI: Your lies are old, but you tell them well
* * *
MATEO: u wnt green?
NASH: nah
MATEO: need anythin else?
NASH: ask me tomorrow
MATEO: im here 4u bro
* * *
Plate Detectives Group Chat
RUBI: What happened to the plate on the landing?
CAM: which one?
RUBI: The one with the greatest toastie of all time on it
CAM: ain’t there no more
RUBI: I know that. Where did it go?
CAM: you want me to go fucking looking for it?