“He’ll need more thanplansto organise you, but I’m glad you haven’t got a tin of ket in your pocket. I’d have to flush your head down the bunkhouse toilet.”
River rolled his eyes but kept his smart mouth quiet, turning his face to the incoming rain. Chaos and disorder ran riot in his dark gaze, and it made me think of a long-ago conversation with Locke, and his bemusement over River’s ADHD status.
I loved that he’d noticed my little brother enough to give a shit. Not everyone did. Or they ran a mile from his surly glare and hot temper. Not Locke, though. Like Nash, he never ran from anything.
The rain began to fall harder.
I got wet.
So did River.
It was only a matter of time before Rubi woke up and stormed out here to hassle us inside, so I followed River’s lead and tilted my face to the sky, as if I’d find my lost men in the heavy clouds sliding in front of the moon.
My phone buzzed.
I ignored it until River nudged me.
“It’s Nash.”
I tore my gaze from the rain.
River waved my phone at me, a call lighting the screen.
I raised a hand to swipe it, but it cut off. “Fuck.”
River did the heavy lifting, returning Nash’s call, but it didn’t connect, and the world stopped in the long seconds it took Nash to ring back.
“Hey.” I folded my arms and lay my chin on them, leaving River to hold my phone. “Are you okay?”
Bikes and wind rattled down the line. Then Nash’s voice, rough and tired. “I can’t talk. I just need to hear your voice.”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“I—” Road noise cut Nash off. The static of whatever device he was using to talk to me while he rode. “—Saint told me about the guitar. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“The only thing due an apology is the floor.”
“How did I know it was the floor if I was that out of my mind? Shit, Orls. What if I’d hurt you?”
“You didn’t.”
Nash said nothing for a long moment, then he sighed. “Everything was better with him, wasn’t it?”
Was.Past tense. Fear rippled through me and I sat up. “Itisbetter. You promised me. Did something happen?”
The line cut off again, and frustration leeched into my blood, tainting my veins. Was he doing this shit on purpose?
I knew he wasn’t, but irrational O’Brian rage overwhelmed me anyway. I lunged for the phone as Nash came back, but River held it out of my reach, squeezing my wrist with his other hand. “Easy, sister. Don’t take it out on him.”
Like my baby brother had fired an arrow of guilt into my heart, regret swamped me. I clamped my mouth shut, fighting to be the woman Nash needed right now. Cam and River were the ones who found comfort in me ripping their heads off. Solace in the sharp dynamic we’d grown up with. Rubi was buoyant enough to withstand it. Nash, though. He was different. He’d adapted to fit in, but he needed more.
He neededbetter.
“Orls—”
The anguish in Nash’s voice lanced my heart, grief and regret a viscious pain that drove my clenched fist to my chest. “Baby, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t,” he begged. “Please, I love you. You remember when I had my appendix out?”