Do it now.
The urge to set right the one single thing I could fix swept over me. I had a thousand other things I should’ve been doing before it was my turn to ride out, but tools filled my hands with little conscious thought.
Kill time, not brothers.
Anything to keep me occupied before I could get back on the road.
You’re not going on the road tonight. Cam needs you with him, remember?
I did. And the reason had me smacking the shit out of everything in my path—and my thumb—despite the numbness still paralysing my soul.
Bear.
Detective Constable Lister.
He’d summoned us for another pointless meeting, and there was nothing I cared about less than giving him anything he asked for.
But... I had to show up. Officer Bear was a gaping arsehole, but he had a power over us that no one else ever had that I could recall, and the prospect of getting revenge nicked and trapped on remand for months and months scared me enough to play ball.
Orla needed me.
Lockeneeded me. Wherever he was, whatever had happened to him, I was no good to him serving a bird.
I had three phones in my pocket.
My personal handset buzzed. Then blared a festival song about a spider and a fly at top volume, immune to the quiet mode I’d set it to when I’d rolled off Locke’s bed a few hours ago.
Willow. My heart clenched and I reached for the phone with shaky hands. I loved this kid. Knowing how much she was missing her dad was one of the only things that pierced the shroud ofnothingI’d taken shelter beneath.
I couldn’t handle her sweet voice.
Her bright smile and lively gaze.
Thank God, she seemed to know it and our communication had been limited to texts.
WillowBean:Hi Nashie! Are you having a good day? Did you speak to my dad?? Xxx
Fucking hell. I was the world’s worst liar, even electronically, and my thumbs moved at a snail’s pace, tapping out a bullshit reply.
Nash:i’m having a shit day. it’s raining and i hit my thumb with a hammer
No lies detected there. I sent her photo evidence. Then addressed the elephant in the room with more dishonesty than I could handle.
Nash:i spoke to him earlier. he was driving tho x
WillowBean:Will he be back soon? Can you warn him Mum’s going to yell at him for not telling her he was going somewhere? xx
Wherever Locke was, I was pretty sure that a pasting from his ex was the least of his worries, but I made the promise all the same, along with a few others. And like the ones I’d made Orla recently, they felt hollow.
They feltwrong.
“Hey.” Silky arms threaded around my waist, Orla’s fruity scent surrounding me. “You okay?”
“No. You?”
“Absolutely not. Who were you texting?”
“Willow.” I pressed my phone into Orla’s hand. “She asked if he’ll be back for her birthday, and she wants to come by the club.”