Nash glanced at me, brows cinching together. “What does that mean?”
“What I said. It would be a different conversation with Rubi.”
“Oh.” Nash reached for the cigarette box and jammed a smoke between his lips, tilting to accept the flame from the lighter in my hand. “You think that’s going to happen? Him and River?”
“No.” The lie slipped out easy, like silk. I’d told no one of my suspicion that it already had—that Rubi had fucked up and River was going to be angry with him forever. “It can’t, as long as River lives outside of our protection. It’s too dangerous. Cam won’t allow that risk, and Rubi isn’t stupid enough to ask.”
Nash nodded, but his frown was conflicted.
I blew smoke in his face. “What?”
“That crazy church we had, after Alexei told us who he was. Cam said he was ready to talk about all this shit, so I thought... fuck, I don’t know what I thought.”
“Neither did Cam. He was off his nut on ketamine.”
Nash sighed. “I want to argue with you, but you’re never fucking wrong, especially when it comes to Cam.”
“I’m wrong all the time, but it’s not about that. Rationalise it. Riv and Orla are everything to him, and being with you is the safest Orla will ever be. River being Rubi’s bang buddy a whole county away when he won’t allow a brother to breathe the same air as him is a problem.”
“You don’t think him and Cam will ever work it out?”
I shrugged. I didn’t know. And we’d run out of time to talk about it. The Dog Crows’ compound was up ahead, and we had work to do before we could worry about where anyone laid their heart at night.
Nash pulled the van onto the dirt track that led to the rear perimeter fence. Turned the radio off and opened the window for Mateo to approach.
I had my hand on the door handle when he nudged me with his elbow.Jesus. What now?
Nash grinned. “This is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.”
“So?”
He shrugged. “Just saying. Maybe this whole thing is good for you too, brother.”
Mateo was on us before I could answer. I slid out of the van and turned my face to the sky, listening, scenting the air for trouble. Even with the Crows so depleted, invading their turf was a risky move, especially as, thanks to Cam and whatever the fuck he’d done with Alexei’s phone, we didn’t know what had gone down in their world since they’d lost their president and sergeant-at-arms.
Frank Crow. Nasty cunt. I wish I’d killed him. But whatever. That ship had sailed. He was gone now, and we were about to leave his successor a present.
I joined Mateo and Nash at the van window. “Wait here,” I said to Nash. “We’ll recce.”
Nash nodded. “Stay sharp.”
Mateo rolled his eyes. “If it makes you feel better to say it, bro.”
Ignoring them both, I moved to the fence we needed to climb to get close to the rear boundary of the compound. Barbed wire lined the top, but I’d been over it so many times I didn’t give it much thought. I swung myself over and dropped, landing in a crouch, Mateo a heartbeat behind me.
We worked well together. He followed my lead and rarely argued, and I could rely on him to murder any fucker that got in our way without a second thought—my favourite kind of wingman.
Wingman.Fuck. I forced Alexei from my mind, but man, his voice. I loved it. It smoothed the rough edges inside me. The ones that hurt and made me choke. Maybe I should’ve told Nash that our spiky Russian friend was better than a Valium for me and Cam both.
He’s not your friend.
Not true. He was. I just didn’t know what else he could be. Cam loved him. I loved Cam.
Did I love Alexei too?
Did he love me?
I tripped over a rock.