It was quite the speech. But in our world, it made sense. Embry’s life had been as tough as Saint’s. As Mateo’s. And it wasn’t over. There was still a hit out on him, which made what had happened tonight more fucked up than ever. If we’d lost Saint and Alexei tonight—
“Cam?” Embry gripped my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
I found a breath from somewhere and filled him in on the ambush.
He processed with a narrowed gaze that was all for me. He didn’t need me to hyperventilate on a clifftop to fuckingknowI was a wreck.
“Is it weird that I got something out of seeing the aftermath? That it felt good?”
He shrugged. “It would be weird if you didn’t get some satisfaction out of Saint and Alexei destroying the fuckbags who tried to kill them.”
“Em, they annihilated them.”
“They had to.”
“I know, but... I don’t want that for them. That’s what’s fucking with me, apart from the obvious. I don’t want them to be good at killing people.”
“You don’t think it’s more that you don’t want them to have to?”
“Yeah, maybe that’s it.”
“And that you feel bad for being grateful that they’re so proficient at it?”
The pot on the stove came to a boil. I turned it down to a simmer. “Proficient doesn’t even come close. And I’m more than grateful, because it means they’re safe out there together.”
“Because they fought that hard for each other?”
“I think they might end up loving each other as much as I love them.”
Embry hummed, but we were interrupted by Mateo and Nash pulling up outside. Embry’s expression grew complex, cycling through emotions too fast for me to decipher before he settled on one I understood all too well.
Yearning.
The deep, painful kind that ate a man alive.
I reached for him, but he evaded and suddenly we weren’t alone anymore, and the moment to comfort him with empty words passed us by.
Mateo and Nash came inside, vibrating with anger, even Nash, my good-humoured, level-headed VP.
“Cam, we can’t let this go. We show weakness now, we’re fucking done for.”
I knew that. But there was no logic in being predictable. In treating the new breed of Crows like the old. So I said nothing and let my brothers fume until I heard the van ease onto my driveway.
Saint and Alexei appeared like bruised and dishevelled ghosts, their hair and clothes wet from the river. At the sight of them, a fissure buried inside me closed up, but so many remained.
Alexei filled the space beside me. I studied him, searching for the marks of a fight that littered Saint’s face. For long moments, I found none. Then a scrape on his neck caught my attention. I tracked it as it disappeared under his collar, shielding him from the rest of the room as I peered beneath his damp shirt.
His torso was a mess, pale skin littered with cuts and gravel burn.
I opened my mouth.
He sealed it shut with his palm. “Later.”
It infuriated me that he was right.
I let his shirt fall back into place and found Saint. He was with Embry, listening, not speaking. He met my gaze, answering my silent question with the kind of up-nod that made me want to scream.I’m fine, boss.
I wasn’t his boss, and he wasn’t whatever the other side of that damn-fucking word was. He was my lover. My heart. My every-fucking-thing. And thesefuckershad sent nine men to run him and Alexei off the road.