“Me? I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“You don’t seem yourself.”
“How would you know what that is?” The words were out before Rupert could stop them, spilling from him with a flat despondency. An emotion he couldn’t name flashed in Jodi’s dark gaze. Hurt? Sadness? Guilt? Or was it the dull rage that had become their constant companion?
Either way, it was gone before Rupert could decipher it. Jodi lowered himself to the pillow and took a deep breath, effectively ending a conversation Rupert didn’t really want to pursue anyway. What was the point? Jodi didn’t remember him. Didn’t want to remember him. And this was their reality.
“Ready?” Rupert asked.
Jodi nodded and pulled himself up. He did it with more purpose this time, faster and bolder, yet seemed surprised when he found himself upright. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“Try it again,” Rupert said. “The sheet says to do ten, but it’s just a guideline.”
“Guideline, my arse,” Jodi muttered, but he followed Rupert’s instructions and completed the exercise again and again until he reached number ten.
“One more,” Rupert said. “You’re winning, come on.”
Jodi’s glare was murderous, but as he hauled himself up a final time, Rupert was amazed to see laughter in his eyes. “Bloody hell. I don’t think I’ve ever finished one of these sheets.”
“You must be having a good day.”
Jodi shook his head. “I feel different, have done all week. It’s like I’ve dropped something somewhere and I don’t have to pick it up again.”
His analogy was so honest and simple that Rupert had to smile. “That’s really great. Hold on to it until the next breakthrough comes.”
“Do you think there’ll be another one?”
Rupert got up and held his arm out for Jodi to use as leverage. “What do you mean?”
“Just feels like everything’s been shit for ages. I’d pretty much resigned myself to it staying that way.” Jodi stood, his eyes glazing over briefly.
Rupert waited for his equilibrium to catch up, then released his arm. “Nothing ever stays the same. Even if your recovery doesn’t work out the way you want, you’ll get better at living with your injuries.”
“S’pose it helps that I can’t remember what I was like before.”
“Only you know that, boyo.”
Rupert watched Jodi until he was safely on the sofa, then picked up the exercise paraphernalia Jodi had left on the floor.
“Why do you call me ‘boyo’?”
“Hmm?”
“Boyo. You say it all the time, and I don’t know what it means.”
“Erm, I guess it’s the same as ‘mate’ or ‘lad’ if you’re Irish. My dad used to say it to me and my cousins.”
“Used to?”
Rupert turned away and snagged some stray socks that had been under the coffee table for more than a week. “We haven’t talked in a while.”
“Why not?”
“Long story.”
“You don’t want to tell me?”
Rupert said nothing. It was probably high time he told Jodi he was gay and dealt with the consequences, but he wasn’t in the mood today, especially without Sophie for back up.