Rami nodded. “I need my laptop too. And some other stuff for work.”
“Are you taking Charlie?”
“Nah, I don’t want to confuse him.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to offer to go with him, but I swallowed it down. If he wanted that, he’d ask. Besides, he’d once told me he could see Strangeways from his kitchen window if he looked hard enough on a clear day and HMP Manchester was the last place on earth I wanted to be.
We walked back to Safia’s place. The mood between us was quiet, and I wondered if it was me—it usually was. When I had too much to think about, I forgot how to speak, which I guess made a change from the motormouth I became when I was happy.
Safia’s gate came up on us too fast. Rami laid a hand on the bolt and turned to me. “You know you could, uh, stay the night, if you wanted? I promise I won’t jump you.”
I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t jump him, though. My head was kind of a mess. “I’d love to, but I’m too riled to be in bed with you right now.”
Understanding flared in Rami’s dark gaze. Compassion. A camaraderie, perhaps, that I couldn’t quite explain. “Fair enough. I’ll see you when I get back then? If I’m not with Charlie, I’ll be in your dad’s treehouse.”
“Don’t work too hard.”
“I’ll try. And Fen?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think we’d make it to the bed.”
10
Rami
I was in my bed,alone, for all of five minutes before I fumbled my phone from the bedside table and sent Fen a message.
Rami:is it weird if I ask you to come with me tomorrow?
It took him a little while to reply. I presumed he was driving home and tried not to picture him texting while navigating the horrible mountain road.As if he’d be that stupid.No chance. Fen Hawthorne was gorgeous, sweet, and kind, and more enigmatic than I’d ever imagined for a man who seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he wasn’t fucking stupid.
His reply pinged through ten minutes later.
Fen:not weird
Rami:so…you wanna come? can’t promise it’ll be fun, but I could use the company xx
Another ten minutes ticked by, then twenty. An hour later, I figured he’d fallen asleep and spent until witching hours contemplating if I’d been a needy idiot to ask him in the first place. We were casually dating. Kind of. Hanging out.Occasionally. Kissing.A lot. Why would he want to drive to Manchester with me and watch me shove un-ironed clothes into a bag before turning round and driving straight back? Would I do that for him?
Yes.
My answer was swift and absolute. And it shocked me. Charlie had been my priority for so long, it was strange to have someone else taking up space in my brain. Strange and welcome, though I didn’t know what to do with it.
I fell asleep ruminating, and dreamt of a world where the life I had now fit perfectly with the lives of every soul I cared about. The location was vague, but smelt of pine trees and my sister’s thyme-scented soda bread, and I woke at dawn horny for Fen and hungry for my breakfast.What is life right now?
The answer was no clearer when I came back from cooking scrambled eggs and soda bread toast for six people. Charlie was on my hip, gurgling about something. In recent months, frayed by the juggling act I’d been trying to keep up, I might’ve tuned him out, but I was all ears now, enjoying his innocent company as I got myself ready to leave him for the day. Apparently not worrying about his parents abandoning him in a crack den was life-changing. Who the hell knew?
My phone buzzed as I was flailing around, one-handed, to leave. Focused on Charlie, I ignored it, shoving it into my pocket, and walked out into the misty early morning to the sight of Fen Hawthorne leaning against the bonnet of my car.
I blinked my surprise, my hurried footsteps coming to a stop. Despite my grand plans to drive my car down Christmas Mountain all the way to Manchester and back, I’d somehow forgotten the only reason I could do that was because Fen had got my car fixed and brought it back yesterday. That he hadn’t driven home at all. He’d walked. In the dark and the cold.You’re the worst kissing friend.
Charlie wriggled out of my grip and toddled to where Fen stood, holding his arms up. More surprise hit me. Charlie had taken well to Safia and Paddy being regular fixtures in his day-to-day life, but he never left me willingly to go to them. Never climbed their legs the way he was Fen’s right fucking now.
Fen tore his gaze from mine and scooped Charlie up the way he had that first time in his kitchen. He said something that made Charlie laugh—like,really, laugh, pure joy and sunshine.Damn this man. I could really fall for him.
If I hadn’t already.