Dante shrugged. “I’m a selfish motherfucker, so the way you operate intrigues me.”
“Why?”
“Becauseyouintrigue me, I guess.” Dante kept his eyes down, collecting cutlery from the basket. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I’m not special.”
Dante made a noise low in his throat and opened the correct drawer without Sid’s guidance. “You say that like it’s fact, not your own warped opinion of yourself.”
“You’re using my words against me?”
“Why not?”
“I can do that too.”
“Go on then.”
Sid took a breath, then lost his train of thought. “Okay, maybe I can’t.”
“Because you’re not an arsehole.”
“No. Because I can’t keep up. I just want to tell you I think you’re a nice person without dancing around it. And I don’t want to hear all the reasons you think I’m wrong.”
Dante shut the cutlery drawer, a slow slide that seemed unnaturally loud. “You don’t know me better than I know myself.”
“Bollocks. You’re not trying to know yourself.”For fuck’s sake, stop talking. But even without brain lesions, Sid had never been good at knowing when to stop. Maybe it was a northern thing. Or maybe Sidwasan arsehole. “You’re too young to give up and accept the worst man you can be.”
Dante laughed, a sound Sid had been craving since they’d met, but it held no humour, only bitter self-loathing that made Sid feel sick. “Are we going to talk about this every time we’re alone? Because nothing you say can change who I am. You know that, right? That whoever you want me to be for whatever fucked-up reason, that person doesn’t exist.”
Sid patted his pockets for his weed tin and dumped it on the counter. “I don’t believe you. And you can’t make me.”
“No?” Dante moved fast, closing the distance between them until he was up in Sid’s space, terrorising Sid with his sweet scent and soothing body heat. “You think I’m a nice person just because you want me to be?”
Sid fought to keep his gaze on Dante’s face and not on the rapid way his strong chest rose and fell as his hazel eyes flashed. “Ithinkyou want to be a bad person because it’s easier than dealing with the fact that perhaps it’s not all your fault that you did bad things.”
“Not bad things. Evil things.”
“Whatever. They’re just words, mate. It’s what’s in here that counts.” Sid pressed his palm to Dante’s chest, somehow shocked by the steady thump of his heart. “And no one can change that, not even you.”
“That’s kind of my point.”
“I know. But you’re working on the assumption that you started out rotten, andthat’swhat I don’t believe.”
“You’re a daft twat.”
Sid grinned. “That, my friend, is not new information. Now, will you use youreviland yet fully functional fingers to skin up for me? Because I need a fucking smoke.”
Dante stared him down a moment longer, then something in him seemed to shift. His sharp edges faded. The harsh light in his eyes went out and he turned his gaze to the hand Sid still held against his chest.
See?Sid wanted to say.You’re forcing it. It’s not who you are.
He settled for absorbing Dante’s droll smirk as he covered Sid’s hand with his own. “Are you checking I’m not a vampire?”
“Do I need to answer that?”
Dante rubbed Sid’s hand, just once, before he stepped back and reached for the weed tin. “Not today.”
The conversation, such as it had been, was over. Dante rolled a joint with his deft fingers and led the way outside. He lit up and passed it to Sid without taking a drag. “I didn’t come over here to smoke all your weed.”