Dante nodded slowly. “I was a shit person. It doesn’t matter how I feel now or what I do, that’s never going to change.”
“I know that. But you can’t spend the rest of your life looking back. Sometimes you just have to let things go.”
“That makes sense to me. It didn’t before, but I get it now.”
“What changed?”
“Everything. Nothing.”
“Tell me.” Sid inched closer, tangling his legs with Dante’s, caging Dante with his affection. With hislove. “What happened to you? Where have you been?”
Dante took a breath. The words bubbled up his throat but caught on a yawn that cracked his jaw. “I’m so fucking tired.”
“I know.” Sid rubbed his shoulder, his bicep, his forearm, soothing, sweeping strokes that made Dante moan. “Tell me what happened, and you can sleep, okay? For as long as you want.”
“You shouldn’t have to hear it. Your life isn’t about this bullshit.”
“Neither is yours... is it?”
For the first time Dante could ever remember, doubt crept into Sid’s deep voice.No. Dante’s eyes flew open and he found Sid’s hand. “It’s not my life, I fucking promise.”
“Then tell me.” Sid squeezed Dante’s fingers. “Please, tell me everything so we can love each other with no more secrets.”
Dante didn’t want to tell Sid anything. He wanted to confine the lifetime he’d lived before they’d met to the pit of despair and self-loathing where it belonged, but as he sank into Sid’s bed, his honest, open gaze, and the loving home he’d found in his heart, it dawned on him that salvation wouldn’t come until he’d purged every last demon from his soul.
He brought Sid’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Then he started to speak, and he didn’t stop until his eyes fell shut and his tired brain melted away.
* * *
Sid had never seen Dante sleep. Every night they’d spent together, he’d been awake when Sid had knocked out and up and about before he woke. It was a strange thing to see him so peaceful and still. Hypnotising too. Sid watched him for hours, stroking his hair and his bruised back, but eventually, he dozed off too and slept hard until rapid breathing and a panicked gasp woke him sometime later.
Dante shot bolt upright in bed, a strangled curse escaping him.
Groggy, Sid threw a hand out but missed and swiped the empty space where Dante had been instead. “Wha—? You okay? Dante?”
Hand to his chest, Dante slowly turned. To anyone else, his expression might’ve seemed benign, but to Sid, the panic in his gaze was neon bright, even as it retreated. “Shit.” Dante shook his head. “Fucking hell.”
Sid gave him a second, then gripped his arm and tugged him gently back down, wishing he could move his body fast enough to meet him halfway. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Fuck off.”
Dante laughed and closed his eyes. “Is that where we’re at?”
“We’re nowhere if you don’t talk to me.”
“What time is it?”
Sid let a frown take over his soul. He reached for his phone and squinted at the screen. “Eleven.”
“In the morning?”
“Yeah. You didn’t think you’d slept for a whole day, did you?”
“I don’t know what I think.” Dante scrubbed his face and opened his eyes again. They were heavy with fatigue, but the panic was gone. “It doesn’t matter how long I sleep, I always wake up at twenty-nine minutes past six, waiting for the lights to come on.”
“The lights? Oh. You mean in prison?”