Mickey wrenched Benito’s hand from his arm and pushed him again, harder than before, but this time, Benito didn’t stumble. He stood his ground, fists clenched, fierce.
“I don’t need to listen,” Mickey growled. “I know what I saw. I could fucking taste it in the air. Do you know what that shit does to me?”
Benito’s face fell, contorting with pain. It was brief, but enough to show Mickey that he’d scraped the truth.
The devil inside him spun around and ran to Benito’s front seat. Crawled into the footwell and clawed at the dust until there was enough for a hit. A sweet punch of pleasure that would last long enough for him to find his way to a dealer and score. But the stronger man he’d learned to be knew it wouldn’t play out that way. No pleasure, onlyhurt, masked by a racing pulse and synthetic energy that made him sick to his stomach.
“Mickey.”
“Stop saying my name.”
Benito reached for Mickey again.
Mickey evaded and stumbled to the house with heavy legs. The rest of Benito’s clothes were still on the counter, his shoes by the door. Mickey snatched them up and threw them out of the house.
They landed at Benito’s feet.
Benito flinched. “You don’t understand.”
“Youdon’t understand. If you did, you’d never have brought that shit to my house.”
“I didn’t think you’d go in my car—fuck, I thought I got it all—” Benito brought his hands to his head. “Fuck,fuck.”Desperation filled his wild eyes. He tugged so hard on his hair Mickeyfeltit. “Please. I know I’ve fucked up, but you have to let me explain. It’s not what you think.”
Mickey clung to the front door as if it could anchor him to the world where ten minutes ago they’d been screwing like lovers.Reallovers, because there was no doubt in Mickey’s heart that he loved Benito. If he didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
You can’t love him. He’s a liar. And he’ll break you.
Mickey couldn’t afford to be broken again. He let himself sink into Benito’s deep brown gaze.
Then he shut the fucking door, and the dull thud felt like the gates of hell slamming shut.
He sank to his knees, tears burning, a sob caught in his chest, pressing his hands over his ears to block out Benito as he gathered his clothes from the ground and trudged to his car.
Lost to white noise and his shattering heart, he didn’t hear him drive away, but as his fucking soul crumbled, he knew the moment Benito was gone.
No. Mickey fell forward, his head hitting the door. A scream of devastation tore through him, drowned out only by the cynicism falling for Benito had eased.
It was loud now. Bitter. Spewing out four words that stomped out the glowing embers of the last few months.
You gullible fucking idiot.