“Why?”
“Because I’m a pain in the arse drama queen who makes everything about himself?”
“You don’t do that.”
“Not as much as I used to, but it’s definitely my fault we haven’t had a conversation in more than a week.”
“That long?”
“Yup.”
“Damn. I can’t remember why. I mean, I can...but I can’t remember why it was so important. I love you. I don’t care about anything else.”
It was my turn to slow blink. I glanced at the IV feeding medication into his veins. Was he high as balls? Or did he just tell me he loved me and actually fucking mean it? With his gaze flickering in and out of awareness, it was hard to tell. Would he remember if I said it back?
Did it matter if he didn’t? It wasn’t like I was incapable of saying it twice.
I held his face again, fingers skimming his cheekbone. “I don’t care about anything else right now either, except the fact that I love you too, so fucking much.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I blew out a long breath and felt some of the baggage around my soul shift. “These last few months have been magic. I know I’m not the easiest person to live with, but you’re... I don’t know—I just feel like a better person around you.”
“Better than what?”
“Better than I am without you.”
Gus opened his mouth and took a breath. Then his expression changed, and he winced.
I let go of his face and rubbed his arms. “What’s the matter?”
“I need to take a piss.”
“So?”
He frowned. “That floor is really weird, man.”
I followed his gaze to the linoleum floor. It wasn’t the prettiest thing in the world, but it seemed normal enough to me. “What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s bendy. I don’t want to fall over.”
“Oh. You mean you’ve got vertigo?”
“How do you know?”
“Because I had it a little bit this morning. It’s why Luke wouldn’t let me come and get up in your face before now.”
Gus’s frown deepened. “I don’t remember this morning.”
“I think you were asleep for most of it.”
“Okay.”
It wasn’t okay. Nothing about seeing Gus like this was even close. But right now, it was all we had.
A nurse came and disconnected his IV so I could help him off the bed.
I steered him to the bathroom. He was dressed in a hospital gown that showed too much of his glorious body to the world for my liking, but his bed was close enough to the corridor that we didn’t pass anyone on the way.