Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. I googled it, then wished I hadn’t, so I didn’t get very far. But I suppose it might be. Or it might’ve had more to do with what was going on between you.”
“What do you mean?”
Luke leant over the bed and pushed my hair out of my face. He coaxed me onto my side and tucked me in like I was five years old and he was our dad. “I don’t know that either. But I want you to know that I’m sorry, okay? That I didn’t take whatever you two have been doing seriously.”
“He doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Tell you that, did he?”
“Not exactly.”
Luke shook his head. “Then don’t assume. You think he’d have been this upset if he didn’t want something more out of this?”
“He said we had to stop because you couldn’t lose me again. That we couldn’t lose each other.”
“Well, he was right about that. I can’t explain how I felt when I took that call today. They didn’t tell me anything. Just that you’d been in an accident and they were taking you in. Then Mia’s phone rang too—” Luke shuddered. “Whatever. My point is, you and I getting our shit together doesn’t need to come at the expense of everything else. You aren’t going to run out on him, are you?”
“What? Fuck, no. I want to stay, like with him, in his house, for as long as he’ll have me. And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just move in with you and ruin your life too.”
“Charming. But it doesn’t have to be that way either. You have a job and regular money. I’d help you get a deposit on a place if that’s what you wanted.”
“I don’t want that. I want to live with Gus and only annoy you some of the time.”
“Because you love him?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
Luke nodded as if we’d settled world peace.