“No, when I let him into your house. I mean, I know he didn’t bother with the physio...” Comprehension dawned in Luke’s worried gaze.
It hurt to see him torn up, but I bit my tongue. Yelling at Luke already felt like a betrayal, of him, and of Billy. Him because I’d always been the steady person in his life he could trust, and Billy because he’d trusted me with his pain. Trusted me enough to sleep in my bed while I held him and wished I could kiss his suffering away. “Whatever. It’s a lot to ask of him when he’s still recovering. You could’ve waited for me to come back.”
Luke nodded slowly, processing, and I should’ve left it. I’d made my point, but somehow I couldn’t let it go. “He’s a good worker, better than me at some stuff. You need to have a little faith and stop assuming he’ll mess everything up.”
“I’m not assuming that.”
“Liar.”
“Really? That’s what you think? That I brought him back here and gave him a job just for the pleasure of watching him screw up like he has a million times before?”
I didn’t think that. Of course I didn’t. But Billy did. I sighed. Luke was my best friend, and Billy had become someone I couldn’t go a minute without thinking about. Why did they have to be so complicated. “When are you doing the wages? Maybe he’ll feel better about your obsessive perfectionism if he’s actually getting paid.”
“I did them this morning when I was waiting for you two to stop bickering and come downstairs.”
“What?”
“I saw him come out of your room. Something you want to tell me, Gus?”
My heart thudded against my ribcage. “Like what?”
“Like why my brother is coming out of your room at six o’clock in the morning. I mean, it’s none of my business who either of you fuck, but you could at least be upfront about it.”
I’d had a thousand things to say to Luke, but as realisation dawned that he really did think I was screwing his brother, my mind went blank, and I was left with nothing but truth. “He was coming out of my room after barging in to wake me up. And you’re right, who I have sex with is none of your business.”
Luke had always been perceptive. Sometimes he stared at me so hard I was sure he could see out the other side of my head. But he didn’t stare me down this time. He shrugged and shook his head again. “You’re right. About everything. I’m sorry, okay? I just... I don’t know. I love him so much, but I don’t know how to make him believe that when he’s such fucking hard work. I—”
A car roared to life at the end of the street. It screeched around the corner and sped past, burning tyre marks into the road. This estate was boy racer central, but the sudden intrusion into the quiet afternoon made Luke jump a mile. He checked himself, and anyone else, even Billy, might not have noticed, but I saw it, and my irritation with him faded fast. Perhaps I was being as hard on him as he was on Billy. After all, it hadn’t been that long ago a car had deliberately run him down. He’d never have admitted it, but he’d been jumpy ever since.
The last of my anger evaporated. I pulled him into a loose hug, ignoring his rigid posture, knowing he’d let it go if I stood my ground. After a moment, he knocked his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. I really am.”
“You don’t need to be. Just trust him a little, okay? It’s too easy for him to act the idiot when he knows it’s what you expect.”
As I spoke, I sensed movement on the ground below. I looked over Luke’s shoulder in time to see Billy’s back as he walked away from the van, head down, hands thrust in his pockets. The words to call out to him caught in my throat. I let Luke go and we got back to work. When Billy didn’t come back, I found my phone in the footwell of the van and tapped out a message.
Gus:Luke paid the wages last night. Check your account
Billy didn’t reply.