Eventually, Toby and Joe came back. The horses were apparently well behaved enough to sell in good conscience, but neither rider seemed excited by the prospect. As they loaded them into the horsebox, Harry shot me a conspiratorial wink. “Trust me, that dark one isn’t going anywhere. Joe needs to ride; he just has to admit he wants it enough to let himself keep her.”
Good for Joe. It made me wonder about Toby, though. I knew he rode other horses on the farm, but I couldn’t think of one he’d mentioned that he’d ever called his own.
He appeared at my side and pressed his lips to my neck. “There’s a circus camp over the next set of cliffs. They have tents like your trousers.”
“Are you calling me a clown?”
“No. Just that your trousers remind me of the circus.”
There wasn’t much I could say to that, but with him so close, the heat I’d felt when I’d watched him ride returned full force. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get home.
With Harry and Joe otherwise occupied, I pushed Toby against the horsebox and crowded into his personal space. He smelt of fresh air and ocean waves. I kissed him and let him know exactly how I was feeling.
He laughed against my lips. “You know I’ve got the day off, right?”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Joe’s decided I can’t work Mondays anymore. It’s a thing, apparently.”
“Mondays, huh?” That worked for me. I didn’t work them either, and my contact routine with Ella meant she wasn’t often with me until Tuesday morning.
The dirtiest parts of my mind fast imagined how we could spend those stolen hours together, but more than that, I didn’t actually care. I’d take time with Toby however it panned out—watching TV, companionable silence, or a fuck-hot shower, dinner, and a long, slow walk. I loved it all.
I loved him.
He kissed me again, hooking one leg over my hip. The move brought my dick even closer to his, and I let out a quiet groan. “How long does it take to get home?”
“Twenty minutes, but listen—”
My eyes flew open. “What? Are you about to tell me you need help untangling lunge leads again? Cos that shit wasn’t funny.”
Toby grinned. “Not quite, but I’ve been wondering about what you said a while back about you fucking me... about how we shouldn’t plan it, and the right moment would find itself.”
“Okaaaay.” I’d said a lot of things about having sex with him. It was how we’d built the friendship that had brought us to this point. “I think I also said that it didn’t matter if it never did. I love you fucking me.”
Toby made an impatient noise. “That’s not my point. I love fucking you too, I’m just, I don’t know, confused as to why the rest of it never happened. I’ve always wanted you to fuck me. It was where we were headed before we got drunk together that first time. I don’t get why we never went back to that.”
Come to think of it, neither did I. So much had happened since then, and yet nothing had really happened at all. Being with Toby was easy, and I was learning not to hyper-focus on the details.
Maybe so much that I’d let this one slip by.
I drew back from him a little so I could look at him properly. His cheeks were still flushed from his windy ride, so it was hard to tell if he was pissed off, aroused, or both.
Or neither. But as I stared him down, his eyes gave him away as a heady mix of both. “What are you trying to say? That you want me to fuck you?”
“Of course I do. I’ve always wanted you to. You’re the one who kept banging on about me being ready.”
“You weren’t ready when we met. It terrified you.”
“Lots of things terrify me. Just like they do you. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do them.”
Put like that, how could I refuse? I knew it went deeper than that, but we didn’t have to psychoanalyse everything. He wanted me, and I wanted him. That was enough, and perhaps it always had been.
* * *
Toby
The journey home seemed to take a year but, at the same time, was over in a flash.