“No, Devan. Such a thing... I couldn’t contemplate it. It’s unfathomable to me.”
“You’re not really helping,” Devan grumbled before he remembered he was talking to his most respected alpha, but Dash was like that, so...normalit was easy to forget he was among the most powerful shifters the world had ever seen.He’s so human. A quality Devan had often admired, but today he resented it.I need guidance, not friendship. And the sense that Dash wasn’t telling him everything made him want to scream. “I don’t know how long I can do this for. When he’s close, I want him so much I don’t care about anything else, and when he’s gone, I can’t rest until he comes back.”
“That’ll get easier.”
“When?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know? You’re hundreds of years old. You must’ve seen this before.”
“It’s true, I’ve seen bonds, Devan. And I can share with you, second hand, of course, the experiences of many others who’ve lived through this process, but they won’t be yours, because we are all different.”
“So you’ve never ordered anyone else to live in the pocket of someone they’re forbidden to bond with?”
“No, and I’ll regret to my last days that we’ve asked this of you. Devan, if you know nothing else, please believe that I’m doing all I can to end this before your bond with the wolf fades.”
“And then what?”
“And then you will be free, both of you, to choose your path.”
“This war has lasted decades. What makes you think you can end it before this bond fades?”
Dash sighed. “There are many things I can’t tell you.”
Devan closed his eyes, hopelessness washing over him. He’d called Dash for reassurance, for the soothing tone of his alpha’s voice, the comfort that was lacking in his fledgling relationship with Varian, and that had never existed between him and Luca. Dash was his sire. His father, of sorts. And until this moment, his best friend.
But Dash’s world was far greater than Devan; his responsibilities stretched wider than Devan could ever contemplate.He can’t help me. And as he bid Dash goodbye, he realised no one could. The pain in his chest was permanent, until it wasn’t, and when it had passed, Devan would mourn its loss for the rest of his existence.
He ended the call and resumed his stare-off with the river. The moonlight danced on the fast-flowing water, shimmering, and frost crunched on the ground. If not for the oppressive clutch of war in the air, the night might’ve been beautiful. But the unrelenting flow of the river matched the edginess grating him and didn’t occupy him for long. Restless, he sprang to his feet and scaled a nearby tree. His night vision was stronger than that of the wolves, but as he scanned the horizon, he saw nothing of the small patrol group Zio had taken out a few hours earlier. He scented the air, testing for blood. Reached out for his connections with the wolves on the ground, but nothing came back. Wherever they were, it would take Devan too long to find them if anything went wrong.
Growling, he dropped to the ground. The radio Michael had presented him with the morning after his return fell from his back pocket. In four days, it had yet to make a sound. The temptation to kick it into the water was strong, but fear that he might miss something won out, and so he stayed by the water, straining every sense, every nerve.Zio, where are you?
A wolf approached from behind. Devan reached out but found nothing but the shifter’s identity. Devan had healed most wolves in the border force by now in one way or another, but not the quietest of Zio’s closest companions. Not Michael. “Everything okay?”
Michael sat on a rock a few feet from where Devan paced. “I think so. They’ll be back soon, I think.”
“How can you tell?”
Michael glanced at the sky. “It’s nearly dawn. If there’s been no fighting, Danielo will want his breakfast.”
Devan snorted. “That’s your barometer for the safety of your pack mates?”
“If I’m wrong, I’ll give you the extra bacon he sneaks on my plate.”
“That’s cute.”
“I try.”
The conversation lapsed, but Devan was used to that with Michael. Despite the close-knit pack, Michael was somewhat of a lone wolf. He didn’t say much or ask for much in return.
“Are you going to complete your bond?”
Devan sighed. Scratch that. Maybe Michael was as annoying as everyone else seemed to be right now. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Because Zio’s my brother.”
“So ask him.”