“Nothing, Zio. Absolutely nothing.”
Zio understood the loaded meaning. He wrenched himself free of Devan’s grasp. “Fine. Whatever. I don’t give a shit.”
* * *
Zio was good at walking away from Devan. He was, apparently, becoming less proficient at staying away. Devan sensed his return less than an hour after he’d stormed out of the tent and braced himself for another fight.
But as Zio approached, his emotions lacked the rage and aggression he’d left with. Devan tasted defeat and sadness that mingled with his own despair, and he closed his eyes.Gods, Zio, I wish things were different.
Different how, he had yet to reconcile, but not this.Neverthis.
Zio ghosted into the tent, his face the blank mask Devan was fighting so hard to maintain for himself. His hair was wet too and smelt of the river three miles away.
“Did you go for a swim?”
“Not on purpose.”
Devan pursed his lips.
Zio scowled. “Piss off. What do you care?”
“As pack healer, if you can’t control yourself enough to keep from falling in the river, I care a lot.”
“But not enough to—” Zio clamped his mouth shut and snatched a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t come back to have that fight again.”
“I know.”
“Of course you do.”
“I don’t know everything you feel, though. Especially not about... this.”
“Good, cos that would really piss me off considering I have zero clue how I feel about anything right now.”
Zio had war-weary eyes, but in that moment he looked so young and confused that Devan’s resolve to never touch him again melted away. He rose up on his knees and held out his hands. “Come here.”
“No.”
“Comehere.”
Devan grabbed Zio’s hands and tugged him further into the tent, and then down to his level.
Zio could’ve resisted. But he didn’t. He allowed Devan to manhandle him until they were sitting side by side on the mess of the bed they’d only shared once.
Devan squeezed his hands. “I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I need you to know that I could’ve prevented this.”
“Prevented it? How?”
“That night, in the club. I knew what happened to us there wasn’t normal, but I convinced myself I’d never see you again, and then when I did... I don’t know. Maybe I was caught up in the bond before I realised it, or maybe I was just too arrogant to believe I couldn’t control it.”
“You knew.” Zio spoke slowly, his words carrying no weight of accusation, but Devan shook his head.
“I didn’t know anything for sure, and things kept changing... evolving. Sometimes I thought for real I’d have to do something to stop it; others I thought I was a fucking lunatic.”
“I like it when you curse.”
“What?”
“When you swear. It makes me laugh.”