Cash was where he always was, at the stove, doling out food. Rae was lounging at the counter, and for a moment, nothing seemed out of place, then my gaze fell on a lone figure stood to one side, familiar features twisted in a horror that matched my own.
It was Jude.
* * *
“But, Dad—”
“Get in the car!” I grabbed Tam’s arm and propelled him forwards.
I buckled Delilah into her seatbelt and slammed the car door. Behind me, Jude called my name, but I didn’t turn around. Lucky’s words were playing on a loop in my brain and I was so fucking angry if I laid eyes on Jude again, I’d deck him. “One of Rae’s mates is over for dinner…”
There had been no one else in that kitchen but Jude. Which meant he was Rae’s mate. That he’d been Rae’s mate all along. Perhaps Cash’s too. Maybe Lucky’s. Hell, he was probably Dom’s pal as well, and they’d all been having a good laugh about closeted Isha and when I’d have the balls to come clean.
Maybe one of them had told Jude I never would. I couldn’t blame him for believing them.
You’re not thinking rationally.
Fuck off. I knew I wasn’t, but I couldn’t see past my anger. I’d been an evasive wanker, and I could admit that, but I’d always been honest with Jude about who I was. There was zero chance of him walking into a house that was halfway his home and catching me having a cosy dinner with a mutual friend he’d never known about. Because that shit was fucked up.
“Isha.”
He was closer. Right behind me. I felt his presence like creeping lava, and embarrassment sluiced through me. Our conversations were currently bookended by one of us chasing the other down a busy London street. How the fuck had this happened? A few months ago I’d been content with my Grindr dregs, now I was fleeing from Cash’s house like a fucking lunatic and making a big queer scene at the side of the road.
“Isha.”
“No. Just fuck off. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Why not?”
It was so Jude to ask that fucking question. I forced myself to face him. To meet his glare head on and not get lost in his chiselled jaw and broad shoulders. His glorious cheekbones and velvet soft hair. “Are you taking the piss?”
“What?”
“Don’t even try it. You know where you were, don’t you? In my business partner’s house?”
Jude shrugged, no denial. “So? It’s not like you wanted him to know about us, so I wasn’t going to say anything? And for the record, I only know Rae and Cash. I don’t know Dom, or his fella.”
“Lucky,” I snapped. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”
“Don’t you?”
“No.” I spoke with a finality that scared me.
Jude’s glare hardened. “You’re not being fair. I didn’t know you were all connected until after we’d hooked up, and by then, it was clear that you didn’t want anyone to know about me. If I’d told you I knew Rae, you’d have run a fucking mile.”
“Like now?”
“Yeah, like now. Because that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? Running away?”
A bitter laugh escaped me. “So what if I am? It’s you that’s forced this. You’re the one sitting in that house knowing that I might show up. How is that fucking fair?”
“It’s not, but it’s not my fault.” Jude shook his head as if to clear it. “I went in the house because Rae asked me to. What was I supposed to say? I can’t come in and drink your fucked up miso soup because I’m screwing your closeted mate?”
“Wasscrewing.”
Jude flinched. “What the fuck is wrong—?”
Something changed. A split second seemed to pass in slow motion. Jude was shouting at me, gaze fierce, fists clenched, and then he wasn’t. The space he’d filled with rage moments ago emptied, and his head hit the pavement with a sickening crack.