“No. He’s kept them before, but it was a long time ago, so he doesn’t have the kit anymore.”
“Okay. Um…can he hang on five minutes?”
“Why? You can set it up this afternoon and he can pick it up tomorrow.”
“Did you tell him set up was free?”
“Not yet. I wanted to check you had time to do it.”
Of course I had time. I always had time, never more so than now, but despite my recent best efforts to forget Isha, I’d been having trouble shutting down the advice he’d given me about making the shop more profitable. “I’ve got time. But the free set-up policy is done. Keep him there five minutes. I’ll come over and speak to him.”
* * *
“You can takeit home and set it up yourself, but if you leave it here overnight, I’ll set it up for you, check the equipment is working, and get it to temperature. That way the animal can go straight in when you bring it home.”
“How much?”
“Thirty quid.”
The customer didn’t blink. Just nodded. “Suits me. I’ll be in after work.”
He left and I breathed a sigh of relief. My spontaneous decision to take Isha’s advice had made me sweat the entire time I was talking to the customer. I couldn’t believe it had been that easy.
“It’s about time,” Shaqueela said.
“What is?”
“That you stopped working for free. People expect to pay for services, dude.”
“Thanks, Lord Sugar. I’ve never heard your opinion on vivarium set-up costs before.”
“You never asked.”
“Right. Because you’re known for keeping your opinions to yourself?”
Shaqueela grinned and ambled off. I rolled my eyes and went to add the sale to my accounts, along with a reminder to add the option to my till system that evening. My accounts app had logged itself out, and somehow erased the autofill password. Grumbling, I stomped home to retrieve it from my phone, ignoring Shaqueela’s amusement.
Back in my house, the distraction my burst of activity had gifted me subsided. I climbed the stairs with heavy legs, my mind drifting to where I least wanted it to go. It had been ten days since I’d walked out of Isha’s house without looking back, and I was still waiting for it to get easier. For the pain in my chest to fade, and the doubt and regret churning in my stomach to fuck the fuck off. My head told me I’d done the right thing, even if I’d made an arse of myself doing it.
My heart told me I loved him, but that could fuck off too. Isha had a million things he needed to do for himself before he had time for me. And I was okay with that. I had to be, if the ache I carried for him was real.
God, I missed him, though. The masochist in me insisted that a clean break was best for both of us, so I’d ignored Isha’s repeated attempts to contact me to the point that I hadn’t checked my phone in days, but with every hour that passed, my resolve crumbled. We couldn’t be together, not the way he wanted to be, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends, right? Fuck, I wished I knew.
I recovered my phone from my bedside table. On impulse, I opened WhatsApp. I’d disabled notifications a week ago and a bunch of messages were waiting for me; one from my crazy mother, a couple from Rae, and half a dozen from Isha.
Heart in my mouth, I sent a bland reply to my mum, and ignored Rae. Then I opened Isha’s messages.
Isha:Please come back. If I didn’t have my kids with me, I’d chase you to the fucking moon
Isha:Jude? Come on, man. Don’t ice me. At least let me know you got home okay?
Isha:All right, so yesterday was a weird one. I’m gonna call you later, so we can talk. Hope you’re okay…
Isha:Answer the phone, mate. Please?
Isha:I wish you knew how I felt about you
Isha:I’m sorry