Jamie shrugged. “Because I wasn’t in love with him, and that shit ain’t real unless it’s shared.”
“Is that why you haven’t contacted him? Because you had feelings for him that weren’t real?”
“No. I just know Marvin, and he needed a clean break. He spent so long taking care of me that he saw something that wasn’t there.”
Zac stuck a forkful of noodles in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. His familiar green gaze was as shrewd as it had ever been, but for the first time in years, Jamie met it with no shame for whatever answer he’d give to Zac’s inevitable probing question.
“Do you love him?”
“Who? Marvin?”
“No. Marc... unless you have another grizzly soldier bear stashed away somewhere.”
“No, it’s just him.” Jamie’s heart did a warm and gentle cartwheel, helped along by the softening in Zac’s beautiful face. “He’s everything.”
“He’sgorgeous,” Zac said. “I never pictured you with someone so—”
“Don’t say old. He hasn’t got that many years on Liam.”
Zac grinned. “I was going to saytogether, but I might’ve realised how stupid it was in time. I guess I still see you as you were back then, you know? I don’t give you enough credit for how far you’ve come.”
From Zac, the sentiment meant the world, because there was no one who’d been hurt more by Jamie’s addiction.Except you.But for once, Jamie ignored the therapist who’d taken up residence in his brain. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Everything?”
“If that was necessary, I should be thanking you too.”
“Why?”
Zac shrugged. “Things happen. If we hadn’t done what we’d done, we wouldn’t be where we are now. And I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t change my life for the world.”
As if Jamie could argue with that. “Are you happy?”
“I am, Jamie. Are you?”
* * *
Jamie padded naked through the ground floor of the house. The flagstones were cold against his bare feet, especially with the frost that had arrived with dusk, but he’d turned up the stove and it wouldn’t be long until the house was toasty warm.
In the bedroom, he found Marc naked too, stretched out on his front reading, his prosthesis propped against the bed. Jamie moved it to the chair where it lived when he was around to take care of anything Marc might need, and then clambered over Marc, pressing their bare bodies together. He wound his arms around Marc’s neck and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
Marc chuckled. “You’re welcome, though I’m not entirely sure what for.”
“For today.”
“I spent all night in the pub with your best friend’s boyfriend.”
“Uh-huh, and my best friend wouldn’t have been here if you hadn’t invited him.”
“Ah.” Marc rolled over and gripped Jamie’s hips to keep him in place. “Well, I got the feeling that you didn’t want to go and visit him in Norfolk. Was I right?”
Jamie nodded. “I can’t go back there, even if it’s to Liam’s eco-mansion miles away from where I used to be. It haunts me, that place... still.”
“But you can handle it, though.”
“I can.” And Jamie believed his own words as much as Marc apparently did. Six months of hard-core OCD therapy had rewired his every thought. The anxiety and resulting urge to ritualise remained—and likely always would—but his ability to think around it grew stronger every day. “Did you have fun with Liam?”