“So why did you?”
“Because you’re fucking gorgeous and I wanted to. See? I always screw it up when I do shit without thinking.”
Marc let his arms drop. He wanted to tell Jamie that he’d thought about kissing him ever since that very first time all those weeks ago, but he didn’t. He said nothing as he watched a thousand emotions pass through Jamie’s face.
He waited for Jamie to pull away, but Jamie’s only movement was to press his forehead against Marc’s chest. After a moment, Marc gave in and wrapped his arms around him again. “Don’t be sorry,” he said quietly. “Believe me, I’m not. Just don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay? Whatever happens, you’ve got a friend in me.”
“I don’t deserve that.”
“I don’t believe it.”
Jamie pushed back on Marc’s chest and looked up with a watery scowl. “You should. My friends get hurt.”
“So do mine. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have any.”
Jamie sighed and banged his head on Marc’s breastbone. “I can’t argue with you when you say shit like that. My brain wants to, but then I think of you all blown up and in pain and I can’t stop.”
“Try. I don’t want you to think of me that way.”
Jamie said nothing for a long moment, then he sighed again and wrenched himself free of Marc’s embrace. Marc steeled himself for Jamie to leave, but he didn’t. He reached for the rice he’d found in the pantry and dumped it into a small pan, his back to Marc, his narrow shoulders hunched. “If I’m going to be here for a little while clearing out the library, you’ve got to let me cook for you. It calms me down when I’m being a dick.”
“Why don’t you do it at home, then?”
“It’s not worth it when I’m on my own.”
Marc had no argument for that. How many nights did he go to bed on an empty stomach because he simply couldn’t be arsed to fuck around in the kitchen? He tempered his relief that Jamie had seemed to have halfway accepted his job offer, and then chanced a grin, even though Jamie was apparently hell-bent on not looking at him. “All right. I was going to advertise the job at eighty quid a day, nine to five. That okay with you?”
“I’m not bothered about the money, and I’m not a nine-to-five type of guy.”
Marc chuckled. “Neither am I, but I had it in my head that some old duffer from the village would be helping me out. You can work whenever you want. I’ll give you a key.”
“That’s brave.”
“Not really. I’ve told you before—anything you pinch you’d be doing me a favour.”
“What if I burn your house down?” Finally, some humour warmed Jamie’s voice.
Marc grasped his shoulders, turning him around to meet his gaze. “You’re an addict, not a lunatic, but if it helps, know this: if you burn my house down, I’ll fuck you up. Got it?”
Jamie swallowed. “Is it wrong that I love how much you mean that?”
“No, but you should probably finish cooking dinner now, before this shit gets out of hand.”
With gargantuan effort, Marc left the kitchen and retreated to the bathroom to wash the day away. His shift at the hospital seemed like a lifetime ago, even though he’d only been home an hour, but his muscles ached for the comfort of pounding hot water.
Another part of him ached too, but Marc ignored his hard dick and settled for boiling himself under the scorching spray until his mind was devoid of everything except his stinging skin.
He couldn’t hide out in the shower forever, though, and with the sweet, spicy scent coming from the kitchen, he didn’t want to. Dressed in sweats and a battered Stone Roses T-shirt, he answered the call in his heart and returned to find Jamie serving deep bowls of the kind of food Marc had dreamed of when he’d been stuck on operations. These days, it was long shifts that had him dreaming of a hot dinner, and tonight, he’d struck gold.
“Damn. That smells amazing.”
“I shouldn’t say it, but it tastes pretty fucking good too. Did you shower?”
“Uh-huh.” Marc accepted his bowl and took a seat at the table. “Always do after work. Helps me separate work from real life.”
“How was your day? Did you see lots of horrible things?”
“Not really. Emergency departments aren’t like they are on TV. It’s quite rare to have major drama. Didn’t even see an RTC today.”