Silene’s eyes opened wide and grew bluer. Of course, he was going to continue to chastise her. “Father—”
“Silene, you are not yet a nun. You are allowed two years to decide because people change their minds. ’Tis all right to change your mind. If the Lord sent the captain—”
Her heart accelerated. “Why do you mention him? I never said—”
“’Tis obvious if one just looks. He corrected one of his men who called you a nun as if he never wanted to hear those three letters together again.”
Silene recalled him doing the same with the men when they traveled here. “That means nothing.” He said their feelings were obvious to anyone who looked. What if someone from the church found out? But one of them already knew. Father Nathanial was part of the church. Was it obvious to Father Alphonsus, too? What would she say before them if they asked?
“You mistake friendly fondness for something it is not. The captain and I are friends. Good friends. Like he and Lady Matilda are. Do you understand now?” she asked softly with a gentle smile.
He nodded and backed away. “Fergive me.” He buried his hands in the folds of his sleeves and left her alone. The instant he turned to go, her smile vanished, and tears burned her eyes. She hurried through the inner gate and reached the church. She opened the heavy, creaking door and looked over her shoulder to make certain no one was behind her. Her veil nearly came free and flew away when a mighty wind blew in from the north.
The north—where the captain’s kin lived.
She stepped inside and looked toward the altar. Father Alphonsus wasn’t there. She was happy to find the church empty.
She slipped into one of the benches and closed her eyes to speak to the Lord.
What should I do? Is what Father Nathanial says true? Would You forgive me for not going through with my vows?
She heard the church door opening and letting the wind inside. She turned to see Galeren stepping through the outer hall. Their eyes met in the light of dozens of candles. His golden hair fell around his face, his shoulders. She smiled and his expressive eyes glistened like emeralds in a summer pond.
She watched him as long as she could until he sat behind her and to the left. Where had he been these last three days? Had he been alone? Was he here to pray?
Now that hewashere, she couldn’t concentrate. She opened her eyes and stood up. Why could they not sit together? What rules were they breaking?
With that question burning in her head, she slipped in beside him on the bench. His masculine scent of woodsmoke and pine wafted through her, over her, engulfing her.
“Am I interrupting?” she asked him in a hushed voice.
He flashed his dimple and shook his head. “I wanted to speak to Father Nate but speakin’ with ye is better.”
She felt her face go flush. “I just saw the father. He was heading for the castle. He stopped me, wanting to speak. At first, I was not interested, but then things changed.”
“What d’ye mean, lass?”
She told him what the priest had said. He appeared to be having the same reaction she’d had.
“What d’ye feel aboot it?” he whispered. His deep, honey voice covered her.
“I…I prayed for guidance.”
She could feel the need in him. The need to come closer, cover her, kiss her until…
“You never told me how your meeting went with my uncle and Lord Birchet…and where have you been?”
“Just tryin’ to stay away. They want me to marry Cecilia. If I dinna do it, John has threatened to punish ye.
Her face drained of blood. She felt lightheaded. She prayed to not to pass out. “You have to marry Cecilia?” She didn’t want to ask, to hear him confirm it. But she had to. When he nodded, she shook her head. “Do not do it, Captain. Do not worry about me. Let him do his best. I will survive him. But do not marry that woman and be unhappy always.”
“No! I willna have ye suffer.” His whisper rose and echoed in the empty sanctuary. His gaze darted around, and he lowered his voice. “That is why we must leave. I already sent a missive to my home in Invergarry tellin’ my kin to expect me. I want ye to come as well.”
Silene opened her mouth to speak. What should she say?
“Silene, come home with me to Invergarry.”
She swallowed and it felt as if her heart were going back down—or trying to. Invergarry. In the Highlands.