Elias was the only one who could lift Charlie from the gloom.
Brother Simon had been such a wonderful help with cooking. He’d also kept the children busy with chores and games while she chopped wood or spent time in church with Father Benedict, all while Elias was busy with Charlie, taking care of him and making sure he smiled at least part of the day.
Elias had done the same for Cecily when Alice had died.
He had tried to do it for her when she lost Richard, but she hadn’t let him. She couldn’t. Not right away. She didn’t understand why God would let Richard die when so many needed him, but more had died or were dying since Richard had left.
There were so few of them remaining, she could take care of the sick by herself, but Elias had promised to help her. What would she have done without him and Brother Simon? What if they hadn’t come to Sevenoaks, or hadn’t stayed? They could have left and avoided all this. Who would she have left? Clare would be no help.
Poor Clare, she thought, entering the house through the kitchen and getting started on their late meal. Clare spent most of her time in church, even before the Black Death hit. Every day, she looked more terrified. Lily didn’t think Clare’s large, hollow eyes could get any wider with fear but, each day, they did. She’d had a rough time of it in the past. She had served one of London’s prestigious lords, whose name Clare withheld from all. A lord who got her with child and never looked at her again. She’d come to live in Sevenoaks about two and a half years ago and never stepped out again.
Thank God, little Eddie was doing well, with no signs of being sick despite tearing off his mask every ten breaths. Lily loved holding and kissing the babe. She missed doing it in these last, sad days.
Lily smiled and made a mental point of inviting Clare and little Eddie to supper tomorrow.
“What is it that brings a smile to yer bonny face?” Elias came closer to her and asked.
“I was thinking of inviting Clare to supper tomorrow…” Her smile faded. “If tomorrow—”
Elias held up a knife he’d plucked from the table and then began helping her separate leaves and stems for her soup. “That is a good plan. Clare needs to think on other things besides what is happenin’ here—just as the rest of us do.” His smile radiated from within and Lily wondered where his boundless confidence and peace came from.
Lion Heart. She remembered what Brother Simon had called him. It was a good name for a shepherd, for he guarded his little flock well.
He cast Charlie a furtive glance, making Lily wonder what they had talked about today.
“After I help ye see to the sick tonight,” Elias said, looking a bit anxious, “mayhap, if ye dinna want to be alone, ye will walk with me.”
“Of course,” she said, brightening his expression. “Who else would I walk with?”
Brother Simon and Charlie laughed. Lily winked at Charlie. She had an idea that Elias likely spoke with the boy, who would be an adult in a few short years, about being fond of her. She would have to be a fool not to know Elias cared for her. He grew breathless when he saw her. Truly, irresistibly breathless. Every time. When they were together, his eyes were always on her, drinking her in. She could feel his gaze and often caught him on the brink of a smile. It had made her want to giggle for some silly reason. But she couldn’t. She had been married.
But she wasn’t married anymore. For two years, she had done her best to honor the man who’d saved her life. Even toward the closing of his life, she stayed by his side and did not so much as glance in Elias’ direction if their paths crossed. She remained devoted, as she’d promised. Until he died.
She caught Elias looking once again and smiled at him before he could look away. She liked basking in the chiseled angles of his face, the mesmerizing beauty of his silver-speckled eyes, the tantalizing contours of his mouth that made her want to delight in them.
She felt her face flush and watched him chop. He was helping her. Good. They would get done faster and go on their walk. She couldn’t wait to be alone with him.
What would she say? Brother Simon had told her a little more about Elias, but all she needed to know was that she liked standing close to him, like now, and his arm or leg brushed her and sent fire shooting through her veins. It made her forget everything and think only on his size, the length and thickness of his well-muscles thighs and his broad, deft fingers.
They prepared soup and yesterday’s warmed black bread and ate with Simon and the children. When they were done, Lily prepared her remedies and Elias cleaned up, while Simon readied his charges for bedtime.
“I will go to Ivett while you see to Father Benedict,” Lily told Elias outside. She handed him a jug of tea, some pouches of ointment, and a torch.
“No,” he said, shaking his head and lighting his torch on hers. “Alan the carpenter lives closer to Ivett, so I will see to him first.”
“You worry still about Bertram showing up?” she asked in the dim light.
“I should have killed him when I had the chance.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “You see that God did not want him dead yet. ‘Twas right not to take his life.”
“I have taken many lives, my lady,” he said disparagingly.
“And now you are saving them—or doing your best to,” she countered with a smile, lighting his path.
“I know you were a warrior, one of King David’s best—”
“Ye have been speakin’ to Simon,” he scowled, though it didn’t last longer than an instant.