Of course, he didn’t like it. As a matter of fact, he hated wondering who would die next. Would it be Lily? He wouldn’t let himself think in such a way. Doing so bred fear, and if there was one thing no one needed right now, it was panic. He’d learned in times of battle how to spend the days before it appreciating hours, minutes. Time was always precious and it passed one way or the other.
He wanted to use it wisely and win Lily’s favor. He ached to take her in his arms. He was afraid. Truly afraid—not of ghosts and shadows of his past. No, he was afraid she would die now that he found her. He was afraid, even for just fleeting moments before he scattered his fears to the winds, of not being able to save her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he’d never loved anyone like this before her, and now he understood why. If their time was running out, he wanted to make certain she knew.
He spoke to Charlie and comforted him as best he could, which wasn’t anything like the way Lily soothed a soul.
“Do you think there is a heaven, Elias?” Charlie asked him, wiping his eyes.
“Aye,” Elias told him. “I do.”
“Do you think Cecily is there with my mum?” The boy sobbed a little and Elias wiped his eyes.
“Aye, they are there with Richard and Joan and the others. Someday, we will be along, but not anytime soon, aye, lad?”
He didn’t know Lily had returned and was watching from the kitchen. “Come now, Charlie. Let us go prepare her cover.”
He turned and saw Lily. When she took her eyes off Cecily and found his gaze, her eyes filled with tears. But none fell as she went to the girl and pursed her lips behind her mask to kiss Cecily’s forehead first, and then Charlie’s.
Elias watched her, remembering when, less than a sennight ago, he first saw her in her shop. It felt like ages ago.
“Where is Annabelle?” he asked her when she straightened.
“She is with Norman and his daughters, Ava and Emma. I thought she needed a rest from all the sorrow.”
“Aye, I agree,” Elias told her and stepped past her with Charlie hot on his heels. “We must see to Cecily’s pyre.”
“And Osbert’s,” she added with a sorrowful sigh. “Ivett is not far behind.”
“Father Benedict is feeling unwell today,” Simon added, coming in from outside.
Elias wanted to fall to his stool and cover his head in his hands. Everyday—every hour there were more. “We have lost Cecily.”
Simon’s eyes filled with tears as he breathed in a short gasped. “No!” His gaze fell on Charlie and he shook his head then took him in his arms. “My ears are yours, young lad. No matter what time, I will be there to thankfully listen and help if the Lord wills it.”
Elias wanted to ask him why some had lived? Why were he and Lily and Simon seemingly unaffected? He prayed it remained that way—and for everyone in Sevenoaks.
“Come, Charlie,” Elias said, leaving.
He needed some air. He went to the kitchen and left through the back door. He stepped into Lily’s beautiful garden with Charlie and stood there for a moment, taking in the sweet scents and colorful array of flowers.
“How come the herbs that helped me did not help my sister?”
“I dinna know,” Elias told him truthfully. “I dinna know if the herbs have anythin’ to do with it. Some of us are insusceptible to the pestilence and some are not.”
“I’m very sad, Eli,” the lad told him.
“I know. I’m verra sad, too,” Elias agreed solemnly, reaching the path. “Come. We have much to do. Grab one of those small axes and follow me. I havena cut any wood in days. There is none fer her pyre.”
They walked a long way off, beyond the houses and into the forest beyond. There, they found fallen branches and began chopping. They didn’t speak. They simply chopped and chopped until they had more than enough. Charlie had stopped more than once to rest but then he continued on though he had just recovered.
Elias let him chop—for a little while. He knew the lad needed to do something. He’d not only lost his sister and his mother, but people he’d known all his life.
“We have enough,” Elias told him, tucking his axe into his belt. “After we see to Cecily, I will have Brother Simon bring you back to the house so ye can rest.”
“Are you going back to the house?” Charlie asked. “Is Lily?” he added when Elias shook his head.
“She will not likely leave until everyone has been seen to,” Elias told him.
Charlie tucked his axe into his belt the same way Elias had. “I have been spared, though I would gladly give my life in exchange for Cecily’s if I could. But since I am the one who remains, I will not be a coward who runs when disaster strikes.” He swiped at a tear running down his cheek. “I do not want any more rest. I will remain with you and see to the dead.”