“You are not a hideous monster, Brother Simon,” she assured him. “The one who did this to you is.”
“He is dead by now,” he said, waving away the story and the effects of it. “’Tis a time best forgotten.”
“Aye,” she agreed. “Tell me how you met Elias. You mentioned his father rescuing you from your lord.”
“Aye,” he smiled and told her about Nicholas MacPherson and his bonny, beloved Julianna, Elias’ stepmother. “Lord Nicky found me when I was sixteen and I have been like an older brother to Eli since.” He laughed. “A much older brother.”
“And a wiser one,” she pointed out. “Tell me about the MacPherson stronghold, Brother.” If she was going to be living there, she wanted to like it. She hoped she did. “Is it like Sevenoaks?”
“In a way,” he said. “’Tis more…fortified. Most of the houses are connected by walkways and a wall surrounds all of it. Everyone there is safe. Everyone would die for his or her neighbor. But ‘tis growing in size and soon the brothers will have to do away with their wall. Sooner now than later.”
“Is it unsafe in Invergarry?” she asked, worried.
“Nowhere in Scotland is safe from the English. If we are caught traveling together, you are to say I am your servant. If not, they will likely kill me and rape you.”
She shivered in her spot, never knowing until now what it meant to be a Scot. They were England’s servants.
She felt a little ill and rubbed her belly.
“How are you holding up under all this, lass?” he asked, sobering suddenly. “Not just the worry of the pestilence, but the rest of it. With Eli. You care for him?”
His questions were so unexpected that she stumbled over her words, not knowing how to answer or where to begin. She could have pretended ignorance but she was not daft, and she wouldn’t pretend to be. “Aye.” She lowered her voice. She’d wanted to confess anyway, didn’t she? “I have tried to stop it from happening, but being near him, in the same room with him, sets my heart to thumping. I know I am a married woman and I do not care if our marriage is not physical, I love my husband. So, tell me, Brother, how do I stop my heart from wanting Elias?”
He shook his head. “I have had similar conversations with him and I must tell you, lass, I do not know.”
“Similar conversations?” she asked, her ears perked up. “About me?”
He squirmed—just a little. “Lass, you must know he cares for you. Even your husband knows.”
At this, she closed her eyes and clutched her chest. She didn’t want Richard to be aware of her feelings or Elias. “Oh,” she cried. “Mayhap ‘tis for the best that you and Elias leave here and never return. I cannot bear the thought of hurting Richard.”
“Lily,” he consoled gently. “If you do not come with us, you will likely die here. You are young so you might have to watch Richard die first.”
She stared at him, horrified. Stunned that he would say something so cruel—as the truth. She let out a breath in a sorrowful sigh and turned away. “We will come with you.”
“Sweeting,” he tried, sounding heartbroken. “There can be no doubts or hesitation about this. We are not very far from London. This thing will come. ‘Tis only a matter of time. All we can do is pray and leave while we can.”
“I know you are correct, Brother,” she said, returning her gaze to his. “If I stay, I will likely die after Richard. But the other option is live with the shame of what I feel for Elias.”
Brother Simon rested his hand on her shoulder and hung his head, knowing there was nothing more to say. Whatever she decided, she was doomed.
“I want to think God sent you and Elias to save us, but then why am I tempted by him? Do you think you are both here to bring us away from the pestilence?”
He shook his head. “I do not know why we are here, but I know that once Eli saw you, he changed. I thought him mad for staring at you the way he did, as if you were something he had been looking for and had finally found. Something divine. Nothing will pull you from him now. I know him and I can tell you he will wait for you and he will be yours when you are free—” she looked away “—but until then, you must think of Elias as a friend.”
She nodded, but it was easier said than done.
Easily proven when Elias and Richard found them on the bench and her heart pounded hard in her breast, her mouth went dry, and her palms grew sweaty.
Elias’ adventurous gaze found her and then he smiled. “We leave at first light.”
Chapter Eight
Lily packed the last of her clay jars into a large sack. Each jar was secured closed with twine. Some of the older children had helped peel more lemons and the rinds were gathered and set out to dry while the rest of the packing was done. Joan and Agnes and some other women of the village had spent the day cooking and baking their food instead of letting it spoil.
They’d invited everyone to eat together as the sun began to set. The ale and wine were plenty and the delicious food abounded, but their smiles did not reach their eyes.
By now, they all knew the truth. The Black Death was most likely coming. Osbert had informed the men of the perilous conditions in London.The unaffected did all they could to remain that way, leaving even dying loved ones to die alone. Physicians and apothecaries refused to see patients, and priests refused to give last rites to the dying. Vendors left, and shops closed. The pestilence showed no mercy to children and even the farm animals were affected.