She felt her face drain of color and then fill with blood and make her blush. She felt a bit lightheaded from the change. “I do not understand. Why would my husband want me to be alone with another man?”
The brother shrugged his scrawny shoulders. “He wants you to be happy.”
“I am happy!” she shouted then stormed out the door.
How dare Richard suggest that she was not happy! Had she not done everything to please him? To be a good, caring, loyal wife? Why did he think she was not happy? Because of sexual relations? She didn’t care about that. Had she not told him so these two years? How dare he make such a decision without her! This was her life!
She’d lost her right to make her own decisions from birth and being born a girl. But Bertram had stripped her ofeveryright. In the seven years she lived with him, there were days when she prayed to die. She wasn’t allowed to interact with anyone. No friends, no fellowship, no comfort. His men were just as bad. They weren’t allowed to touch her and their fear of Bertram sealed their obedience. But they harassed her. They spit on her. They were allowed to slap her and pull her hair while she served them in Bertram’s company, so they did. It made her wise and not meek. She knew when to stand up to them, even Bertram, and she knew when to keep her mouth shut. There was no place for pride. Just the most frustrating, deep-rooted instinct to survive.
But Richard had changed her life. He gave it back to her and now he thought to just hand her over to the first young stallion that came along?
She reached the shop and pushed open the door.
Her husband looked up from his work and smiled. “Ah, dear, where is Eli? I have work—”
“Aye, I know all about your work, Richard. What do you mean by wanting Elias and me to be alone? What are you hoping will come of this?”
“My dear, child—”
“Do not call me a child!” she cried.
“You are one to me,” he said. “You have been a wonderful companion—”
“Richard.” She went to him. “Why are you speaking this way? Have I displeased you in some way?”
His eyes filled with tears as he reached out to touch her cheek. “Lily, you could never displease me, but death is coming, my joy.” He nodded. “’Tis coming. I want to free you from your obligation to me while there is time for you to enjoy your life.”
“’Tis no obligation, Richard. I love you.”
“And I love you. But I cannot give you what you deserve. A life of passion and desire. I wish I was forty years younger, but I am not. I—”
“Richard, I do not need passion and desire. I am happy the way things are.”
He shook his head. “’Tis not natural. You are young and vibrant. Who knows how long your life will last. You deserve passion and, hell, Lily, if Elias MacPherson is not the most handsome man I have ever clapped eyes on in my sixty-eight years, I do not know who is. More importantly, he’s a good, hard-working man. He likes you. Spend more time with him.”
“No.”
“Enjoy your time with him. Let him kiss—”
“No!”
“Lily, our marriage is not consummated. We are not bound to it by God and it can be easily annulled by the church while I live.”
“Absolutely not, Richard,” she insisted vehemently, “and I will not hear another word from you about this. This is my life you are tossing around. You always told me to stand up for my decisions. Well, this is one of them. I will not abandon you for some silly physical desire. I only need you. So no more talk of this, aye?”
He looked as if he wanted to say more, but didn’t. He smiled, nodded and kissed her on the forehead.
Lily remembered her stew and ran for the door. She pulled it open and ran straight into the wall of Elias’ chest. She was grateful that Brother Simon was carrying the stew, but it left Elias’ arms free to close around her. She looked up into his stormy blue eyes, became startlingly aware of his rock-hard curves and angles, and doubted everything she had just told her husband.
Chapter Six
Elias chopped wood behind the house early the next morning. He felt well rested having almost a full night’s sleep without any terrors two nights in a row now.
Simon worked close by drawing water from the well.
He thought for certain that his friend was out here to speak to him about Lily, but it was Bertram whom Simon wanted to discuss.
“You know I do not approve of you rushing in the way you did, lad.”