I was useless. As a Monvie, and especially as a mate.
I finished fileting the thick fish that caught in my jaws near the surface and had brought back down to our dwelling. The bone knife that Xexon had was very useful and the weight was pretty even, like a dagger made by a blacksmith.
Xexon ate his raw, so I always tried to get him some fresh, daily. Though a Monvie could eat fish raw too, I took one look at it and thought I was going to hurl. Xexon was kind enough to stock us up on dried meats from a merchant ship. He’d used his tentacles to steal it from the closest vessel about a month ago. I salted the fish that I would save for myself and went to hang it in one of the side alcoves.
Water trickled excessively over near the entrance, hidden by the ridge before a few loud splashes echoed all around me. My heart leaped into my throat and for a second I wondered if they’d come back for me. Grolver appeared in my mind, even though I’d poisoned him and Xexon had finished him off. My chest clenched, my heart racing in my throat. My fingers began to tremble and a tense awareness rattled through my body. I needed to flee. I had to get out of here. But there was only one exit. I reached deep within, calling for my animal to come forth, the scales appearing along my flesh. I could move quickly enough and it would be hard to see me if I stayed close to the wall.
The edges of my vision blurred as a form appeared just over the ridge. It wasn’t Grolver or any other guard from Brasil.
Xexon stood there, his long hair wavy yet stuck to his cheeks and shoulders as rivulets of ocean water cascaded down his shoulders and bare chest. His dark gaze found mine and he must see the terror that was obvious because his brow dipped and concern lanced through his features.
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I wish I could have sent word that I’d be back today.” He continued over the ridge, his tentacles moving with an agile fluidity that I both admired and envied. He was so perfect and strong.
“No, it’s okay. I’ve been waiting, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.” I forced a smile to twist my lips, but the fear was still tight within my body. It refused to release me, and my lungs started to squeeze right as I tried to breathe in.
Xexon moved over to the illuminated pool to his left and dipped right away under the fresh water. I had yet to ask him how he was able to keep the water clean and pure down here, with no access to a body of fresh water.
“How are you faring down here?” he asked, though his back was turned toward me.
I did my best not to ogle at his defined muscles or the way his back rippled when he ran his fingers through his hair. It caused heat to bloom in my stomach, fluttering before my cock stirred. Xexon hadn’t made a move, even though we now pretty much lived together. I could only wonder if he was no longer attracted to me. If what had happened, put him off on the idea of being with me.
Though, maybe it was just me. Could I be the one sending mixed signals? For the first several weeks after Xexon took me home… yeah, home. The beginning was difficult for me. I was constantly getting nightmares and reliving the events within the castle. Grolver was the star of most of them, sometimes the High King. Either way, I always woke to Xexon with his tentacleswrapped tightly around me, his suckers moving in rhythm along my body as a way to ease the tension.
This couldn’t go on. I needed to prove to him that I was still able to fulfill my role as his mate. That I could satisfy him, even if I had no experience in that area.
With embarrassment burning through my cheeks and my heart pounding, I eased myself into the water behind Xexon, my pants immediately getting soaked.
“It’s been lonely,” I admitted, finally answering his question.
I reached up and gently grabbed a chunk of his dark hair, running my fingers through it. Xexon all but jumped, half turning to look down at me.
“What–?”
“Can I wash you today?” the question scratched along my throat and I was worried my voice was too hoarse, or soft, and that he hadn’t heard me. His shoulders tensed, two of his tentacles splashing the water in odd patterns as he glanced away.
I looked down at the one arm that interested me the most. Though I wouldn’t tell Xexon, I’d asked Evieza about how mating works, even though Xexon is the only of his kind. She explained his third tentacle and how that would insert inside of me, like a human cock, or at least that was what she believed.
“You do not have to.” Xexon’s voice was but a whisper.
Rejection slashed through my chest and I tried to swallow the pain. “Oh, if you don’t want me to…”
I backed away a few steps, trying to find an out before I broke down before him. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be honest with him. I needed to get some space between us before I showed him how much he affected me.
“Wait,” Xexon whipped around, water splashing all around us as one of his tentacles and human arms grasped at mine. His tentacle moved down so that it could wrap around my waist. “I only said that you didn’t have to. I do not want you to feelpressured into serving me. You are not here for me. You’re here for you.”
Fuck, what was he so genuine?
“I just want to do something for you. To thank you for coming for me.” And there were tears now blurring my vision and I had to look away before he caught sight of them. Ever since I met Xexon my emotions weren’t the same. I was easy to irritate and upset. I needed to control my emotions better.
“Of course I came for you, you’re…” he trailed off and stared down at me, his brow still crumpled.
Xexon tilted his head and sighed, but didn’t continue.
“Xexon, I know about everything. I know what it is we should do as mates. I know that we are going to be together, from now on.” I placed my hand over his heart, the warmth of his skin causing a shiver to shoot down to my cock. “Unless, uh, you don’t want me as a mate. Which I would understand. I could go back to the mainland, or–”
“No!” Xexon yanked me forward until we slammed together, his face now scrunched with what appeared to be agony. “I don’t want you to leave. I can’t let you leave. Dante, I need you.”
I tried to swallow my heart, “But, I’ve done nothing for you. You keep your distance and won’t even try to solidify the bond. I thought… I thought you were going to reject me.”