The leather jacket creaked when Tilar rolled a shoulder.“But I don’t know anything.I mean, one day everything was normal, and then—” She let out a laugh that tried for what was probably meant to be an adult sound—cynical, contemptuous.It snagged at the end, though, with a teary childishness she couldn’t quite suppress.
“That’s what we want to know,” Tean said.“What happened?”
For several seconds, the girl seemed to be considering something—either the question itself, or the prospect of helping them.Some of the stiffness in her posture eased, and the arm she’d held at her side now came up so that she could hug herself against the late October chill.“I wasn’t here when Brother Young—when he, you know, punched my dad.”
“We heard about that.What happened after the neighbors made Brother Young leave?”
She let out that same laugh, a little sharper this time.“Mom and Dad fought.I mean, they fight all the time, but it was so bad Eljay called me.He was crying so hard I didn’t know what he was saying.”She thought about this and added, “He’s eleven.”
“What were they fighting about?”Tean asked.
“About Brother Young.About what Dad…did.To Daniel.”
“Your mom believed what Amm—what Brother Young said?”Jem asked.
Tilar swung her gaze away.
“What about after?”Tean said.“What happened next?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, as in…”
“It was just the same.Mom made dinner.Dad stayed in the basement with an ice pack; Mom told us not to go down there.Eljay and Nash and Almon—” Without a trace of irony, she explained, “—the kids—were freaked out, but Mom said it had been a misunderstanding, and Brother Young made a mistake, and he was going to apologize.”Tilar hesitated and then said, “She acted like everything was normal, but I know Dad slept in the basement.I heard the slider when he went out the next morning to run.”
“The basement has a separate exit?”
“Yeah, like, a sliding door.”Tilar toed the fallen can of spray paint, and the ball bearing inside rattled softly.“He did it, you know.”
“I know it looks like that right now,” Tean said, “but that’s why we’re asking these questions—”
“No, not Brother Young.My dad.What they say he did.He did it.”
Tean’s chest was so tight that he couldn’t say anything.But Jem, with surprisingly gentleness, said, “What do you mean?”
“With Daniel.”
“How do you know?”
“I didn’t know,” Tilar said, and she started to cry.She wiped at her cheeks, voice thickening as she continued, “I didn’t.I would have—I don’t know.I would have told someone.”
“I know,” Jem said.“How do you know what he did?”
“It was just…weird.From the beginning.I mean, I knew it was weird, but I just thought it was because Dad’s always so, like, into church, and Daniel’s always been so messed up.”She gave a tiny shake, as though dismissing something, or perhaps chasing a memory away.“Daniel was always so happy to see Dad.And Dad was always picking him up for Mutual or driving him to activities, and every once in a while, Mom would—it’s not even that shesaidsomething, but I could just tell it bothered her.One time, I skipped seminary and came home to get something to eat, and I was going to come in through the basement so the neighbors across the street wouldn’t see, and Dad and Daniel were standing down there, and it’s not like they were doing anything, but they both—” She seemed to grope for words before settling on “Freaked the fuck out.Dad kept saying how Daniel had an emergency, and Daniel froze, like he couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t do anything.I finally told Dad I was having my period, and he shut up.But it was so weird.So, I told Mom.”
And then she stopped.In the darkness, her rapid blinking registered only as an impression of movement.
“What did your mom do?”Tean asked gently.
“She told me it was fine, but Iknewsomething was wrong.I couldn’t stop thinking about it.She was kind of quiet that night, but I don’t think anybody else noticed.After the boys went to bed, I…I heard them.Fighting.”
“What were they fighting about?”
Tilar wiped her eyes again, and this time, she held her hands out to catch the weak spill of light.The tips of her fingers were smudged white from her makeup, and she studied them now, rubbing her thumb over them as though she might wipe the color away.“Mom kept asking about Daniel.And Dad kept saying it was an emergency.And—and he was lying.I don’t know how I knew, but I did.”But she immediately corrected herself, saying, “He sounded scared.He kept saying the same thing over and over again.Mom could tell too, I think, because she kept getting angrier and angrier.And then she said he promised her it was never going to happen again, and Dad said nothing was happening, and Mom said, ‘You got lucky once with Kazen—’ And Dad said he wasn’t going to talk to her anymore, and he slammed the door and went down to the basement.”
A car rolled past, headlights making their shadows balloon against the side of the house, music with a heavy beat shaking the air.Then darkness squeezed tight around them again.
“That’s how I know he did it,” Tilar said, her voice broken and empty now.“What they say he did.Mom doesn’t want the boys to know, but they’re going to find out.And it’s true.What he did to Daniel.What he did to Kazen.”