“I’m trying-” he began, but distracted himself by running his thumb over her bottom lip, his eyes glued to the movement. “I’m trying not mess this up. I don’t want you as a mistress or for one night, Lucinda. I want this- I want you, light above,” he hissed.
Without warning, he bent his head and kissed her within an inch of her life, and given that a moment ago she thought he was going to throw her out of his room, she was quite happy to die this way. Remember. Remember every moment.
So she did.
She memorized the way his tongue swirled over hers and how he tilted her head back so he could better consume her. Shememorized the way his teeth scraped over her bottom lip like a promise. She memorized all of it so that when he pulled away again, she knew she would at least have that.
He caught his breath for a few seconds, and Luci watched the storm in him while she followed suit. He was like a tempest over seas, wild and lost. Desperate.
“I want you as my partner. My wife. My best friend. Midnight, there isn’t a part of you I don’t want, but when I finally have you- when I make you mine, I want my ring around your finger and there not to be a doubt in your mind that you are everything.”
They were probably the worst and best words he could have ever given her. In that next breath, she knew she was right to come to him. That the way he carried blind hope was beautiful. Never seeing the mountains and obstacles in between, only ever the ending, and light above it, was a beautiful ending. One for the storybooks.
A servant and a prince. A love worth reading about.
If only her eyes weren’t stinging again.
“How chivalrous of you,” she whispered.
His lips pressed tight together as he catalogued her reaction, and if only he would get out of their way, they could have had this. She could have memorized it.
“Luci,” he said, pressing his forehead against hers, with his hands on either side of her neck. “Tell me why you look like this is all we will ever get.”
Maybe he did see the mountains and obstacles after all, but he just chose to look beyond them.
“I am who I am, Ira,” she said. “Pretty words and elaborate promises won’t change that, but I am standing here now. Right now I’m here. There isn’t a ring on my finger, and I can’t promise you tomorrow, but I can promise you tonight.”
It was like stripping herself bare in front of him, her soul on display. An act of vulnerability she never could have imagined.
“Because tomorrow you’ll run? You’ll go back to Blythe and live your days there, forgetting you ever wanted something more,” he said.
There was a note of bitterness to the words that she’d never heard from him before. An undertone of frustration and anger clung to his lips. And just like that, hope of memorizing him and cherishing one night was gone. A dream surrendered.
“You’ll have me as yours or not at all,” Luci said, and midnight if her eyes could stop burning.
Ira shook his head.
“I’m not going to let you run, Luci. If that’s what you really want, I wouldn’t fault you for it. I wouldn’t darken your doorstep, but I can feel it in you, I can see it in your eyes, you want more. You want the life I’m offering you, but you don’t think you deserve it. You refuse to see yourself as I see you. I’m not conceding a lifetime to one night.”
It stung like a thousand bee stings while a small part of her whispered the word cherished. She supposed two things could be true at once, and some dreams weren’t meant for the light.
“Goodnight,” she whispered, sliding out from him.
Before she made it one terrible step, he reached for her hand.
“Stay with me tonight. Just let me hold you,” he said.
The part of her that was hurt wanted to be cruel and deny him, but mostly she wanted to remember.
So she nodded and let him pull the covers over her and let herself lie her head on his chest, memorizing the beating of his heart. First fast and then inevitably slowing as did his breaths, but his arm around her never loosened, like even in sleep, he thought he could keep her if only he held on tight enough.
Dreams and hopes are the most beautiful memories of all.
Chapter twenty-nine
True Love’s Kiss
Once, a girl followed a trail of starlight into the woods. She didn’t know where it led, only that her heart beat a little faster the closer she came.