Despite Alex being careful with his words, Rowan grew uncomfortable and started fidgeting with something. Her face tilted downward, and she diminished, saddened by their conversation.
He continued, sensing he had upset her. “But hey, don’t worry about it. I get it. You know… why you hid it. I forgive you. It’s okay, we all have secrets...” he said, trailing off into thought, clearly considering his own secret identity involving his sexuality. Did Rowan know he was gay? Had he told her?
His acceptance of her apology perked her up, and she re-engaged in conversation.
“Thanks Alex. I mean it; I really didn’t mean to get you into any trouble. You’re the only genuine friend I’ve ever really had. I just didn’t want you to think… less of me.”
She couldn’t make eye contact with him.
He instinctively adjusted his hand, considering offering her comfort, before thinking better of it and plastering it to his lap.
“It’s okay. No one’s mad at you. Well, except Harper, but she’s a bitch.” They both laughed at that.
“Okay, but really, Harper on vocals?! How bad was it? That might just be the end of Cherry Voltage if everyone heard her singing. I can’t imagine they’ll ever book us again.”
“Honestly, it was bad. I mean, our tip jar was empty, and I’m pretty sure someone threw a few peanuts at her,” he said laughing. “I was positive they wouldn't book us again, but I begged the manager to give us a second chance after we found a new lead singer. Tryouts are next week. We’ve already had a few people call and ask about it. We posted an advert looking for someone, the same one you responded to, actually.”
Rowan went completely rigid.
“Oh,” was all she managed. I could tell when she was trying not to cry. Apparently, so could Alex because he scrambled to change the subject.
He asked her how she was, and they talked about a few innocuous topics, eventually resorting to talking about the weather. I sensed Rowan was growing more and more upset with the visit, and that it was not going as she had planned. Awkward silence stretched out, so she tried to restart the conversation.
“Well, maybe next time we hang out we can finish writing the end of that song. Now that I have my guitar back and all. I can work on the bridge. I was thinking of something catchy might work like…”
She started humming a few notes, but Alex cut her off.
“Listen, Rowan. I’m not uh…” He lowered his voice, thinking it would somehow prevent me from hearing whatever he was about to say. “I'm not coming back here. Honestly, I really just came to see you this once. I needed to make sure you were okay, and say goodbye.”
Rowan said nothing, but I watched as moisture collected in her eyes. Her mouth opened and closed, like she was trying to find the right words, but nothing came out.
Fuck,I knew this had been a bad idea.
I hated this guy for making her cry.
“It’s not you, Rowan. I’m sorry. It’s just, you know, being involved with Arca is dangerous. They’re powerful and corrupt. People disappear to the colonies all the time. You know my cousin was just gone one day! I was here for nearly seven hours, getting interrogated when they brought me in, after you got caught. Staff Sergeant Ryker was going to send me to the colonies! You know my mom is sick, and I’m all she has. I can’t get arrested,” Alex said desperately, trying to reason with her.
He was absolutely spineless, a sad and sorry excuse for a man and a friend. I was happy he was imploding their relationship and I would never have to hear from him again. I wondered if I could send him to the colonies without Rowan finding out. Maybe she’d let me, hell, want me to, after this…
“It’s okay. I get it,” she whispered, staring at her lap, as silent tears ran down her cheeks. The color had drained from her face, and I could tell that their conversation was over and done.
“Alright, time’s up. Let’s go, Alex,” I said, getting off the couch and making my way towards him so that I could escort the asshole off base.
“I’m sorry, Rowan, I really am,” he offered, collecting his coat and not looking back as he made his way out the door.
She didn’t look up from her lap, and I could tell that the moment the door closed behind me, she would be inconsolable. I would be quick in getting him the hell out of here so that I could come back and comfort her.
Maybe now she would realize that her place was here with us, and it would help her let go of her old life. I knew Alex had done me a favor by severing ties with her, but I still shoved him roughly out of the elevator and warned him never to reach out to her again, angry over the fact that he had hurt her feelings and made her cry.
I rushed to the dorm, eager to get back to Rowan. When I got to the door, swiped my card and opened it, my eyes went straight to the table, expecting her to be sitting where I had left her, but it was empty.
I took a few steps forward, looking around the room for her, when something whizzed by my head, nearly connecting with my face, and shattered against the wall. I looked down at the broken shards of coffee mug scattered across the floor as Talon strode out of the hallway, hearing the commotion.
“What was that noise? Did something…”
He stopped talking, looking at my blind spot in the kitchen. I turned to see what had caught his attention just as another object flew through the air, narrowly missing my shoulder, and breaking against the wall with a loud crash.
Great,another mug.