Cade was growing impatient with Dr. Michaels. The omega was still in an induced coma, and they had been running test after test, trying to determine what effect the suppressant use had on her body. She had also piqued the interest of the Science Department, specifically the Chief Science Officer, Dr. Zolkos, who had sent a few of his researchers to draw blood from Rowan, without our pack’s permission. Cade was furious when he found out, requesting Arca reprimand the doctor for not filling out the proper paperwork. They denied his request, which meant that whatever the doctor was working on for Arca made him valuable and powerful.
We had all become increasingly protective of Rowan, and to limit access to her, Cade demanded her transfer to ourdormitory. The medical staff had decreased the dose of her sedative, and she was nearly ready to wake from her induced coma. Dr. Michaels approved the transfer, as long as one of us monitored her 24/7 as she woke up. We agreed to take shifts.
When the medical team moved the omega into our dormitory, something happened to me that had not happened in almost 15 years.
I lost control of my wolf and compulsively shifted.
I had never been around an unmarked, unmated omega before. It was certainly more bearable to be near Rowan when she had 10 years of suppressants running through her veins, and that disgusting scent-blocking lotion on. Now that her system was completely free from the drugs, her scent was like nothing I had ever experienced, intoxicating and potent. Gone was that nauseating and harsh floral scent, replaced by mouth-watering almond, vanilla, and honey notes.
There was also another scent that I couldn’t pinpoint, something more primal, which called to my wolf. Maybe it was the smell of her perfectly needy cunt. Whatever the scent was, it invaded my mind and senses like a cancer, erasing all other thoughts and desires until I was consumed by nothing but the need for her.
I’d done everything I could to cage the beast, shoving it deep into the furthest corners of my body, locking it away with every ounce of strength I had. I turned to pain for control. Minor cuts and burns usually helped when I was desperate for release, but this time, it wasn’t enough. The wolf inside me thrashed, unsatisfied, its claws raking at my insides, relentless in its hunger.
Every second, it whispered the same word in a tortured howl: Mate.
Each minute spent in her presence was a torturous exercise in self-restraint.
My body had become a prison, and the wolf was carving its way out, chipping away at my willpower piece by piece. And all it took for that fragile control to snap was a nurse. She came in to remove Rowan’s I.V., swinging her bedroom door open wide, allowing the omega’s scent to spill into the living room. It hit me like a freight train at ninety miles an hour. Her scent was raw, intoxicating, hers. And in that instant, the beast surged forward, unstoppable.
When a shifter first presents, compulsive shifting happens often until they get control over their wolf. It's a delicate balance of both conquering and enmeshing yourself with the creature. You need to become one with it, but also have to maintain power over it. If you become too intertwined with the wolf, you can lose autonomy and become a slave to it. There were plenty of shifters north of the wall who were more beast than man.
There’s a common misconception that the wolf is distinct from the shifter. While I often referred to my wolf as “the beast,” I knew the wolf was really just me, stripped of all of my inhibitions, my control, and my neurotic tendencies. It’s the bassist version of myself, nothing but instincts, desire, and violence.
It was extremely rare for compulsive shifting to happen to a shifter as experienced and controlled as myself. I suspected the proximity to an unmated omega was the reason.
When I shifted unexpectedly, I almost killed the nurse. I certainly scarred her for life, literally, considering I hadlacerated her from her shoulder to lower back as I clawed my way past her to get to Rowan, who was lying motionless on the bed. My wolf disregarded the fact that she was hooked up to monitors, IVs, and in an induced coma.
It grew tired of waiting; it wanted to mark her and mate with her.
Luckily, Killian and Cade were home at the time and heard the nurse’s blood-curdling screams. They worked together; one put the beast in a chokehold as the other tranquilized it using my issued sedatives. Its claws gauged Killian right across his eye and also caused him to rupture a ton of stitches in the scuffle. I felt bad about that considering he had plenty of scars and wounds without my help.
Under sedation, they transferred me to the Science Department. I found it disturbing to wake up in a sterile lab similar to the one where scientists had experimented on me countless times. It had been quite some time since Arca had forced me to be a lab rat, and it brought back memories I would rather have stayed forgotten.
I realized I was still in a half-shifted state. My skin was ashen, with clumps of mangy fur clinging to it. My stretched limbs contorted; my face was more animal than human, with a malformed snout. It seemed even with the tranquilizer, my wolf was trying to control our shared physical form. I forced myself to complete my transition using all of my willpower.
Once I was stable, a scientist in a white lab coat entered the room. There was a large mirror across from me, which I assumed was one-way glass. I’m sure a gaggle of science geeks were on the other side, observing, and biting at the bit to draw blood, cut skin, and do a plethora of other painful tests.
“Hello Lieutenant Talon Grayson. I am Chief Science Officer Dr. Anthony Zolkos. I understand you are having quite a difficult time controlling your shift, even with your issued sedative, is that right?”
The scientist’s bug-like eyes studied me while waiting for my response. He carried a clipboard in his hand and began filling out the attached form before I could even answer. The doctor had a strangeness that immediately made me dislike the man. Perhaps it was his lack of empathy, or any distinct human emotion.
I hated these science types. He was just like the rest, a scraggly theta with greasy hair, thick round-rimmed glasses, and beady eyes, salivating over the idea of poking and prodding unusual creatures.
“I assume you already know that I am having difficulties shifting, considering I arrived here sedated and half-shifted. The scent of our pack’s new omega is likely the cause. You also know about her, considering your science lackeys visited her in Medical to draw blood and other samples, without her pack’s permission I might add,” I said as a growl slipped out when I thought about them taking Rowan’s blood.
“There's no need for hostility, Lieutenant. You and your omega are both anomalies. The study of unique creatures is imperative. We simply want to help both her and you. Now we will need to do some tests before we can determine and treat the cause of these compulsive shifts. My goal is to formulate a sedative that subdues 'the beast,' as I've been told you call it, leaving you conscious, unaffected, and alert. The shifter sedatives we have now unfortunately affect the whole shared body, but what if there was a way we could target one or the other? We could effectively tranquilize just the wolf, or just theman, treating them as two separate entities. Wouldn’t that be incredible? The applications would be endless,” he wondered out loud with an evil exuberance that sent chills through me.
“Fascinating Doc. Sounds like some really Mengele-style thinking. I would love to be your test subject. Sign me up,” I said dryly.
Normally, I was above sarcasm; it was more Ryker’s thing, but the fascination that lit up his voice as he discussed developing a new sedative sent shivers through me, and I needed to deflect my genuine fear.
Reflecting on the doctor’s words, I wondered about his intentions. I could understand the need and application for sedating the creature, while keeping the man cognizant, but what application would there be to sedate the man only? Such a sedative, at Arca's whim, could unleash the wolves within shifters, robbing them of their free will and control over their other form.Fuck,I didn’t even want to think about the other military applications.
Zolkos waved to whoever was waiting beyond the mirrored glass. On the cold metal table, naked, I awaited the science team, who arrived brandishing vials, needles, and restraints, poised to do their worst. Knowing the pain was imminent, I found a strange solace in it.
Chapter 13: Rowan
Iwas on a soft cloud floating through pitch black. It was silent and peaceful until awareness filtered through me. An overwhelming thirst disturbed my comfortable sleep. I needed water desperately. Cracking my heavy eyelids open, I tried to focus on my surroundings.