"Hey, Beckett. I'm going to step out on the porch with your mom for a minute. When you get done setting it up, come get me. Okay?"
He hums affirmatively but doesn't look up.
I follow Janie onto the back porch, where she's already lit a small fire in the fireplace. The flames cast dancingshadows across her face as she settles into a swivel chair. I take the one beside her, keeping a careful distance that is both necessary and impossible.
Inside, through the crack of the French door, Beckett arranges his blocks with fierce concentration, his tongue sticking out between his clamped lips. It's yet another habit I've noticed we share.
Initially, I thought there was something she wanted to talk about. But now I think she's showing me we can do this together, that it doesn't have to be tense and only focused on Beckett.
At least, that's what I'm coming to realize. We need to have peace between us to be better for him.
The night air carries the scent of jasmine and smoke. Familiar. Too familiar. The silence stretches between us, broken only by the pop and hiss of burning wood.
"Funny," Janie finally murmurs, a wry half-smile playing at her lips. "The last fire we sat around together changed everything."
A low chuckle escapes me, surprising us both. My shoulders loosen slightly.
"That it did."
The memory of that night hangs between us. The way she'd looked at me that night, how easy it had been to cross a line I never even considered was in danger of being crossed.
"How's Melissa doing?" Janie asks, drawing her knees to her chest. "Any progress?"
I shift my focus to safer ground. "The eviction was stayed. Landlord's under investigation now. It turns out Melissa wasn't his only victim. He's been systematically targeting renters, banking on them not having resources to fight back, and keeping their deposits after evicting them."
"Thank God you were able and willing to help her."Janie exhales, her breath visible in the cool night air. "You're good at what you do."
I shake my head. "You were the one who calmed her down, made her feel like she mattered. I can't imagine being a single mom in this world, trying to navigate all of this."
The praise makes her eyes shine, reflecting the flames. She looks away quickly.
The silence after is louder than anything either of us has said.
“Warren—”
“No, I—” I drag a hand across my jaw. “I should have been there. You shouldn’t have had to do it alone.”
“You didn’t know. I was young, I did what I thought was right. I know you would have been there.”
Inside, Beckett topples a tower of blocks and bursts into laughter.
“He looks like you when he laughs,” Janie whispers.
The firelight softens everything—her words, our edges. For a breath, it’s almost safe here, like we’ve stepped outside of time.
“I’m still so angry with you,” I admit, my voice hoarse. “But watching him tonight… I can’t stop thinking about the sacrifices you made. I’m grateful.”
The words land between us, grace tangled with fury. Her eyes shine as she nods once, swallowing hard. Her fingers twist together in her lap. It's the same nervous habit she had in high school.
“I don’t know if I can ever stop being angry about the time I lost.”
The admission cuts sharply, but she doesn’t flinch. She holds my gaze, face open in the flickering light.
“I can understand that. I made the wrong choice, Warren. I hope you believe me when I tell you I’msincerely sorry.” Her voice softens to a whisper. “I wish I could go back and do things differently, but I can’t.”
Silence stretches, heavy but different. For once, I don’t need to fill it with rage. Something in me loosens, like a rope finally giving slack.
She’s flawed. Human. She did the best she could with the cards she had. I've thought about this, and honestly, I don't know what I would have done if she had told me at the time. I shudder to think that I might have suggested an option that I don't even want to consider now.