After we hang up, I stare at my reflection in the darkening window. The dread and guilt twist together, familiar companions after all this time.
I can't avoid this anymore. I can't avoid her at work, and now it appears I can avoid her after work, either.
The next evening, I drive the familiar road toward the Harrelson house, my forearms aching because of how hard I'm clutching the steering wheel. The bottle of Maggie's favorite Cabernet sits in the passenger seat, wrapped in fancy paper by the store clerk who thought I was bringing it to a date.
If she only knew.
The sun is all but gone as I pull into the driveway, casting everything in honey-gold light. The Harrelson house hasn't changed. They have the same weather-beaten mailbox, same mismatched flower pots lining the front steps that Maggie refuses to replace because "they have character."
My chest tightens. Five years since I've crossed this threshold, two, apparently, since I've hung out with Blake and his family. The coward in me still wants to reverse out of the driveway and disappear.
I grab the wine bottle and force myself up the walkway. Before I can knock, the front door swings open and the familiar symphony of chaos washes over me—laughter, the clatter of plates, someone shouting about napkins.
The rich scent of Cile's brisket mingles with the tang of barbecue sauce and Maggie's famous mac and cheese.
"Uncle Warren!"
A blur of motion barrels down the hallway and slams into my legs. Tyler's grown at least six inches since I last saw him. He's still a chubby eight-year-old boy. How does two years thin out a boy so much?
Emma appears next, her brown hair flying behind her as she skids to a stop. She's not a kid anymore.
"You actually came!" She sounds genuinely shocked, which stings more than I expected.
Then a third child rounds the corner. He's a small boy with dark hair, maybe four or five years old. He follows the older kids with determined little steps, a toy truck clutched in his fist.
I freeze, confused. Did Blake and Cile have another child? Surely I'd know if?—
"Don't run in the house!" Cile calls from the kitchen. "And somebody set the extra place for Warren!"
Heavy footsteps approach, and then Hank fills the doorway to the living room. His face breaks into a broad smile, the lines around his eyes deepening. He crosses to me in three strides and engulfs my hand in his calloused grip.
"Look what the wind blew in." He claps my shoulder with enough force to rock me slightly. "Beginning to think you'd forgotten where we lived."
"Sorry, I've been?—"
"Busy. We know." But there's no bite to his words. "Come on in. Margaret's about to pour the first round."
For a heartbeat, I almost relax. This is the closest thing to home I've known since I was seventeen. I crave this warmth, the noise, the easy rhythm of a family that once wrapped around me like a shield.
But I've been a ghost here for too long, and the third child's presence unsettles me. There are gaps in my knowledge now, pieces of their lives I've missed while protecting my secret.
I follow Hank toward the kitchen, the kids scampering ahead. Then, movement at the top of the stairs catches my eye.
Janie appears, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, wearing jeans and a simple blue top. Her fingers are wrapped around the small hand of the dark-haired boy who'd raced past moments before.
Time stops.
The boy looks up at her with complete trust, and she smiles down at him. It's a smile on her I've never seen before, intimate and fierce all at once.
The kitchen swims into focus as I force my feet forward. My heart hammers against my ribs. Everything seems too bright, too loud.
Janie guides the boy down the last few steps, her eyesfinding mine across the room. Something flickers in her expression. It's the now-familiar tension that is ever-present between us, before she smooths it away.
"Warren," she says, her voice steady. "It's good to see you."
Good to see me? After yesterday's icy hallway exchange? Before I can respond, Margaret sweeps in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.
"Janie, honey, can you help with the—" She spots me and her face lights up. "Warren! You came! The whole family is back together again!"