He stopped immediately and turned to me.All that sharp focus softened the second his eyes met mine.
He crossed the room in three long steps and crouched in front of me, his hands coming to rest on my knees.
“Hey,” he said gently.“You okay?”
The question almost broke me.
Okay?
He was leaving, and I wasn’t going with him.And there was a very real chance he could get hurt.
Okay wasn’t even in the same universe as how I felt.
I swallowed hard.“You’re leaving.”
It wasn’t an accusation.Just a fact.
His thumb brushed slow, soothing circles over my knee.“Yeah.”
“And I’m staying.”
“Yes.”
I looked at his chest.“I don’t feel okay,” I admitted.
He nodded once.“I know.”
He reached up and brushed my hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear with a tenderness that felt unfair given what he was about to do.
“I know I promised I wouldn’t leave you,” he said quietly.“And I meant that.I still mean it.But I need to do this, baby.I have to.”
I closed my eyes for a second and breathed through the tightness in my chest.
I understood.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“I get it,” I said.“I do.I know why you have to go.I just…” My voice wobbled despite my best effort.“I just don’t like it.”I opened my eyes and looked at him.Really looked.
A faint smile touched his mouth.“I don’t like it either.”
This man who’d been part of my life for as long as I could remember.Who’d gone from a boy on a dirt bike to a man with blood on his knuckles and loyalty in his bones.
This man who made me feel safe just by being close.
“Just promise me you won’t be gone too long,” I said.
He chuckled softly, leaning in until his forehead rested against mine.“I’ll be as quick as I can.”
I nodded.I knew he would be.
He slid his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, holding me like he was trying to memorize the feel of me.
I wrapped my arms around him just as tightly.
“I’ll be okay here,” I said, more for him than for myself.
His jaw tightened slightly against my hair.“I know you will be, baby.”He pulled back just enough to look at me.And then he kissed me.