“I don’t think it would be a bad idea but see what Phoenix thinks.”
“Of course,” I said.
With that, I made my way down the hall to Phoenix’s office and filled him in on what Byte and I discussed.
“We can put some brothers at her house, but if you want it to look like she’s still staying there, her car needs to be seen coming and going.”
“I don’t think she’ll have a problem with that.”
Phoenix leaned back in his chair and rested his clasped hands on his desk. “Have you talked to Badger?”
My heart sank at his words. I didn’t need to ask why, but the reply was automatic. “No, why?”
“Tawny’s in the hospital. They got the call around three o’clock this morning.”
“Damn it,” I said quietly and looked at the floor. “Is she …? Was it …?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
“It was an overdose. From what Badger said, they had some trouble bringing her back around, but she was stable early thismorning. They’ve already got her a spot in rehab, if she’ll agree to go.”
“I don’t know how to help.”
“That’s the bitch of it, Dice. You can’t help her. No one can. She has to want it. Until she does, there’s nothing any of us can do except offer support without enabling. I’ve told you this many times before, and I’ll keep telling you every time I think you need to hear it. None of this is your fault. You made the best decision for her and gave her the best chance at having a good life. And she did have a good life. A great one. It’s okay to feel sad or disappointed, but it’s not okay to feel guilty.”
“I know.”
Then he asked me something he’d never asked me before. “Do you blame Badger and Macy?”
“What? No, of course not.”
He gave me a pointed look. “That would be absurd, wouldn’t it?”
“Point made, Prez.”
“You sure? Because I truly hate seeing you beat yourself up about something you can’t control. You did everything right. I was there. I watched you make the right decision, even though it pained you to do so.”
“I know that,” I said and tried to swallow past the emotions clogging my throat. “I really do. But it’s hard to accept that things turned out the way they did when we all tried so hard to make sure they didn’t.”
“That’s understandable.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll touch base with Badger and probably head over to the hospital to see her.”
“Before you go, does Daphne know about her?”
“No, she doesn’t. I was?—”
Phoenix held up his hand to stop me. “You don’t need to explain. I just wanted to know so I didn’t accidentally bring up a subject you weren’t ready to discuss with her.”
“I appreciate that. I’ll check in later.”
I left Phoenix’s office and went to my room at the clubhouse to call Badger. He answered almost immediately.
“Dice. I’m sorry I haven’t called.”
“That’s okay. Phoenix filled me in. How is she?”
“Not good,” he said hoarsely and audibly exhaled. “We almost lost her this time.”
“Son of a bitch,” I whispered.