“Thanks, Copper,” was all I managed to get out. My throat was clogged with emotions I was desperately trying to swallow. Copper was like no man I had ever encountered before. He seemed to genuinely care about my safety and well-being, but he also seemed to care about me as a person, about my thoughts and feelings. I had never experienced that from a man before, and while I liked it, it also scared the hell out of me.
“Hey, what’s going through your head? I can practically see the wheels turning,” he murmured.
I shook my head. It was too soon to talk about feelings with him. Hell, we hadn’t even discussed whatever was or wasn’t going on between us. I had no idea if he thought of us as a budding new relationship or fuck buddies. Because I didn’t want to hear one of those options more than I wanted to hear the other, I hadn’t brought it up to him.
Not to mention, my future didn’t have any certainties. I was pretty sure the only reason I was still around was because my leg injury and its subsequent healing coincided with the attack on the clubhouse and the latest threat. I had finished the antibiotics and had my stitches removed the same morning the list of names was delivered to the clubhouse.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine, really,” I insisted.
He chuckled. “I may not know all the secrets to the fairer sex, but I do know when a woman says ‘it’s nothing’ or ‘I’m fine,’ it is something, and she isn’t fine. Talk to me,” he said with a softness in his eyes I couldn’t ignore.
I also couldn’t face him while I spoke. I gently pushed against him so I could move to a sitting position and cast my eyes away from him. “I’m just worried about how things will play out for me when all of this is over.”
“When what is over?” he snapped.
“When I meet Annabelle in a few weeks and you don’t have to babysit me anymore,” I said, refusing to look at him.
“Is that what you think I’m doing?” he asked harshly. When I remained silent, he snapped, “Answer me, damn it!”
“It is what you’re doing! Because I’m related to Annabelle, you’re obligated to take care of me until I can become her problem,” I hissed.
He grabbed my face with both hands and pulled us nose to nose. “Fuck, Layla. You have to know that’s not what’s happening here.” He leaned back and searched my eyes. “You’re afraid,” he said, a statement, not a question. “You feel it; you’re just scared to admit it.”
“I’m not scared to admit it,” I said and paused. “I’m scared to want it. If I’ve learned anything from my life, it’s that once I think I have something in my grasp, it will get snatched away from me in the blink of an eye,” I blurted. My hand immediately covered my mouth as I stared at him with wide eyes, not believing I just shared one of my darkest truths.
He reached for me, but I moved away. “No, please don’t,” I begged, shaking my head. “I gave up on hopes and dreams a long time ago. I won’t knowingly set myself up for the pain of watching a dream shatter ever again.”
“Locks, baby, look at me,” he softly pleaded. When I met his eyes, the compassion I saw in his blue depths had me choking back a sob. “It’s too late to try and protect your heart. The only thing you’re doing now is denying it, and denial won’t stop the pain, baby.”
The dam broke. I launched myself into his arms and buried my face in his neck while I cried out years and years of heartaches, disappointments, and losses. He held me in his arms, gently rocking me, never uttering a word.
When my tears finally stopped and I regained some composure, he tightened his hold on me and said vehemently, “You are not an obligation to me. I want you here. I want to take care of you. Damn it, Locks, I just want you.”
I looked up and met his eyes. “You’ve got me.”
“You’ve got me, too,” he rasped.
19
The time Layla and I spent snowed in was exactly what I needed, what I was looking for when I went up to Badger’s cabin almost two weeks ago. While I’m glad I went, because I wouldn’t have found Layla if I didn’t, I did need those few days of solitude. To have found that solitude in my own home with Layla endeared her to me that much more. And that terrified me.
My club was attacked and every single one of my members was threatened, as well as their families, by a source we’d yet to identify. If anyone figured out Layla was important to me, she would instantly become a target.
I knew I needed to tell her she was in danger by being with me, but I didn’t want to. I was afraid she would run. Considering her recent past, I couldn’t fault her if she did. But I just got her, and she felt like the lifeline I needed. There was no way I could let her go.
Maybe I could keep her with me and keep her safe without having to tell her anything. Once we took out the threat, all would be right again. An idea began to form in my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it would work.
She came around the corner with a shy smile on her face, almost looking embarrassed. “What’s that look about?”
She shrugged and turned her head, but not before I saw her cheeks flush. “I’ve enjoyed the last few days here, and I guess I don’t want to leave.”
I closed the distance between us and pulled her into my arms. “I know, baby. I don’t want to leave either, but we have to. The club has been at Boar’s place for three days waiting on me to get there so we can make plans and get back to our normal lives.”
“I know. I just liked having you all to myself.”
I grinned, “That’s because I kept you well fucked. Don’t worry, Locks, I plan to keep up the good work in Reedy Fork.”
She scoffed, “I’m not even going to acknowledge that statement.”