“I think you do. You’ve been locked in Carbon’s room almost the entire time you’ve been back. Hiding from everyone and keeping your feelings bottled up isn’t going to do anything to help you. I’m not going to pretend to understand what you’re going through, but I’m going to help you get through it whether you want me to or not,” she said.
I was slightly taken aback by her bluntness. “I appreciate your concern, but with all due respect, I don’t want your help,” I said, hating the way my voice shook.
“I know, that’s why I said I was doing it whether you wanted me to or not,” she smiled. She hopped off the counter and carefully slid a steaming cup of coffee toward me. “Come take a walk with me. I want to show you something.” She picked up her own mug of coffee and started walking toward the back door. She just assumed I would follow her, never once looking back. She was right in her assumption as I dutifully followed her outside.
We walked in silence, quietly sipping our coffee, until we reached the small lake, or maybe it was a large pond. Anyway, she walked toward a bench and gestured for me to sit. “I was kidnapped once, a long time ago. Did you know that?” she asked. I shook my head. “I was younger than you are now. A man, who later turned out to be Phoenix’s half-brother, took me from my home and wouldn’t let me leave. I was there for over six years before I managed to escape.” She was quiet for a moment, and then she continued. “In order to escape, I had to give up everything and start over, as in the witness relocation type of starting over.”
“That must have been difficult for you,” I said, unsure of what to say.
“It was. I had to give up Phoenix to protect him. I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I had a few that were close, like Badger and Macy. I had to give up those friendships, too. I was in a new place with a small child, and I had no one to talk to. I was too scared to leave the house. In fact, I didn’t leave the house for almost two years. The point I’m trying to make here is you have a fiancé, family, and friends here to help you. Let them,” she urged.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Annabelle. I don’t know how,” I confessed.
“You can start by coming out of the room. No one is going to pressure you to talk or bombard you with questions. Is that what you’re worried about?”
I shook my head, and despite my greatest efforts, tears started falling down my cheeks. Then, Annabelle did the worst thing anyone can do when someone is trying to stave off tears; she hugged me. “I’m embarrassed,” I wailed into her shirt.
“Honey, what in the world do you have to be embarrassed about?” she asked.
“I miss her. Nother. Hilarie, or the persona presented to me as Hilarie. And I feel stupid for being kidnapped by that family twice. How did I not recognizeher?” I hiccupped and semi-choked on snot. “And I don’t feel bad about killing her, but I feel bad about killing Hilarie even though Hilarie isn’t real! I’m so confused!”
“Harper, those feelings sound perfectly reasonable to me.” She was silent for a few minutes, holding and comforting me. “Have you read the journal yet?”
“No. I know I need to, but I’m scared to read it,” I admitted.
“I have nothing to do today. Do you want to read it together? Or I could just sit with you while you read it?” she offered.
The thought of having her there with me surprisingly made the task seem less daunting. “I think I would like that,” I said, wiping snot and tears from my face with my shirt. Yuck.
“HARPER!” someone bellowed from a distance. I couldn’t tell if it was Duke or Chase, but the voice sounded panicked. “HARPER!!”
Annabelle jumped to her feet, popped two fingers in her mouth, and whistled so loud I thought my eardrums would burst. “We’re fine! Be right there!” she yelled, her melodic voice echoing in the quiet morning.
We started walking back to the clubhouse, much faster than our stroll to the lake. Chase nearly trampled us before we even made it halfway back. He yanked me to him, “You scared the fuck out of me. I woke up, and you were gone. Couldn’t find you anywhere inside.”
“Can’t. Breathe.” I grunted.
“Shit, sorry, baby,” he said, quickly releasing me. “What are you two doing out here anyway?”
Annabelle grinned. “We were just talking. She was keeping me company while I watched the sunrise.”
Chase’s wild eyes came back to me. “Let me know next time, okay?” he pleaded.
“I will. I’m sorry, big guy. I ran into Annabelle in the kitchen, and we decided to go for a walk. It didn’t even cross my mind that you would wake up and be worried. It won’t happen again, I promise,” I said, meaning every word.
After breakfast, Chase headed out for the day, leaving Annabelle and I sitting at one of the tables in the common room. She smiled softly and reached for my hand. “Do you want to bring the journal over to my house? No one will be there other than me until later this afternoon.”
I spent the better part of the day at Annabelle’s house reading Hilarie’s journal. We took turns reading it out loud and would frequently pause to discuss entries. Many of her entries were confusing. We ended up getting a notepad to jot down questions and make notes. What started out as an emotional journey for me quickly turned into an investigation of sorts.
“Is this the only journal the police found?” Annabelle asked.
“I don’t know. It’s the only one they gave me. At the time, I didn’t think to ask if there were any others,” I said, wondering how I could find out if more journals were discovered.
“There have to be more. Several times she wrote ‘as I said before’ in reference to something that wasn’t in this journal,” Annabelle said, tapping the folder containing Hilarie’s photocopied journal.
“I could call one of the detectives and ask,” I suggested.
After a quick phone call, we were informed that no other journals or items of a personal nature were discovered in the house, such as pictures, journals, keepsakes, etc.