“Kiyah Baker, please report to the Ladies’ Lounge,” Ms. Marley’s annoyed voice resonated over the P.A. system. I held back my groan.
Grandma’s about to be on one.
“You’ve been summoned.”
“I have. Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you both, and I wish you and your family all the best and pray for your wife’s recovery.”
“Thank you for your well wishes and for being our tour guide.”
“Bye, Pistol Pete,” I said, waving to the boy who couldn’t be more than two.
I high-tailed it out of there and made it to the Ladies’ Lounge, where the hens had gathered with expectant looks on their faces.
“Well, look who decided to grace their fragile grandma with their presence,” Grandma bemoaned, earning sympathetic coos from the others.
“Are you done?” I drawled, approaching her for a hug. She threw her arms open and wrapped me in a tight hug—far tighter than I thought for a woman in her eighties.
“Oh, my sweet child. It’s been too long. Where have you been?”
“Chicago.”
“Wonderful city,” she said, releasing me. “Have I ever told you that your great-great-grandfather owned one—”
“Of the longest-running speakeasies during Prohibition. Yes, Grandma, you’ve told me quite a few times.”
“Most successful, too,” she added, adjusting the gold bangles that clinked on her wrists. “You’re losing weight. Girls, isn’t she losing weight?”
“I didn’t want to say because it’s not my place, but you do look a little on the lean side,” Ms. Beatrice said. Resounding hums of affirmation filled the room.
“Are you eating in Chicago?” Grandma pressed.
“I am. I’ve been training for a marathon.”
“Hmph. Girls, doesn’t my grandbaby look so lovely without all that metal in her face?”
“She’s absolutely stunning!” Ms. Agatha chirped, fanning herself with a luxury hand fan.
“Come sit, Kiyah. Come sit. There’s much to discuss,” Grandma pleaded. She shoved me down on the leather settee and smoothed the skirt of her metallic-green pleated caftan beneath her before easing down beside me gracefully. “Are you dating anyone?”
“No, ma’am.”
Shocked cries of disbelief reverberated through the room, and I patiently waited for them to dog pile on me and badger me about being 28 and single.
“Kiyah, that is unacceptable!” Grandma croaked. “It’s time for you to settle down and give your grandma some great-grandbabies.”
“Have you had this discussion with Daisy?”
She squeaked and grabbed her chest. “You should’ve heard your sister’s vulgarities when I broached the subject! I was offended, but I don’t blame her. Nori is a terrible influence on Daisy.”
I don’t know about that, Grandma. They’re both scumbags, and I’m not sure one edges out the other.
“I’m only attending the funeral—I mean, wedding, for the cake.”
“What did you get them for a gift?”
“My presence,” Grandma said with an air of indignation. “I planned on buying them a vacation home, but not with that attitude. She—what did you kids used to call it?”
“Fucked around and found out?”