“In our family, there was always this importance placed on me being the big brother and how I was responsible for my siblings. Kiyah came and… and for me… she became a sibling I had to be responsible for, but she needed protecting more than the others did. The next thing you know, I’m always fixing her messes or covering for her, or taking the blame for the crazy shit she did.”
“Kiyah, do you agree with Grant?”
She darted a look at me before returning her attention to our therapist.
“Yes. When I was in trouble, Grant caught hell, too. I crashed my car in a drag race, and Grant got it worse than I did. Grant always presented himself as stoic and unbothered, and it was easy for the adults and the rest of us to forget that he’s not made of stone. There was always this expectation that Grant had to be exceptional while the rest of us just had to exist.”
“Why do you think that is?” Dr. Haynes pressed.
“Generational curse, I guess. Dad was an only child, and Granddad was tough as fucking nails on him, and while Dad is somewhere between gentle parenting and foot up the ass, I think a little of that trickled down. I think Dad sees himself in Grant. He wants Grant to have everything he has—a rewarding career, a warm, big family, et cetera —but no one ever stops to ask what Grant wants. He’ll never admit it, but I don’t think his dream was to become an attorney and take over the law firm; his people-pleasing self couldn’t say no. And because Grant was our ‘leader,’ so to speak, the rest of us fell in line.”
“I wanted to go into environmental sciences,” I admitted suddenly.
Kiyah smiled at me coyly and reached for my hand. I didn’t hesitate to lace my fingers through hers.
“You’re the only person I know who will sit through a three-hour-long documentary about fungi,” she said teasingly.
“You were right there with me,” I insisted.
“It was boring as hell, but I just wanted to be with you.”
A smile ghosted my lips when I thought back to Kiyah loudly munching on popcorn beside me and complaining about the chocolate-covered raisins that fell to the bottom of the bucket. It was the most annoying thing ever, but her presence warmed me more than the theater’s throw blankets.
“I don’t want you to join the firm.”
“What?” she nearly shouted in disbelief. She glared at me as if I’d suddenly grown two heads. “You don’t want me to join? That’s all we’ve talked about since—since forever. I signed up for an LSAT refresher course!”
“You did?”
“I did. I wanted to apply to law school in the spring.”
“But it was never your dream to become a lawyer.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t see being a NASCAR pit crew member in my future.”
“Maybe not, but you always wanted to be a mechanic. I’m in too deep, but it’s not too late for you.”
“I don’t know,” she murmured.
“Why don’t you know?” Dr. Haynes asked. “Your husband is being supportive. What is holding you back?”
Kiyah shrugged, and I took over.
“I know our time is winding down, Dr. Haynes, but I want to make something clear before we leave today. I can’t speak for all of my siblings, but I always felt that I owed my dad.”
Kiyah gripped my hand.
“Owed him? For what?”
“Our childhood was nothing short of amazing. It was filled with loving and encouraging adults, laughter, mishaps, and unforgettable memories. Dad gave us everything; our family didn’t feel like a family—it felt like a community. And don’t get me wrong, not everything was sunshine and rainbows all the time, but we got through it because we had each other. So, if Dad wanted me to take over Baker Personal Injury and Law, then who was I to say no? How could I when BPIL afforded us so much? If it wasn’t going to be me, then who? Not Casey. Not Kiyah. Maybe Daisy, and if you want to talk about someone our parents had zero expectations of, definitely not Kieran.”
“He’s perfectly capable. He just thinks a little differently,” Kiyah said fondly.
“You are your mother’s daughter.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“At the end of the day, the buck stopped with me.”