“I . . . don’t feel it, Pala. My friend.”
She swallows hard, her hands resting on my knees where my legs are bent, framing her in my thickness.
“Neither do I,” Palacia says.
A moment of silent melancholy passes between us. I smile down at her, she returns it half-ways, and that’s it.
Somehow, with that simple exchange, it’s settled.
Palacia might have just fucked me into next century, but shewon’tbe coming with me. I left my mates outside to listen and wonder and decide what they were missing, only because I know they are not jealous beings—with the exception of the obsessive nobleblood, perhaps—and would never dare tell me what to do with my own body.
This was a test, and now I know the answer: I don’t feel the same love for her as I do with them.Thatis what I needed to find out. I had to know if all the years we’ve known each other, and the close call in the cave, where my heartbeat sputtered out of control . . . I had to know if it allmeantsomething.
I had to know for sure. And now I do. I’m not pulled to Palacia like I am with my mates. This was a physical exercise, I notice now, of peculiarity and simple want. It wasn’t aneed, as it is with Skartovius Ashfen, Vallan Stellos, Garroway Kuffich, and Lukain Pierken.
It’s out of my system.
So I climb off Palacia, heaving and trying to catch my breath. I help her off the table and she finds a cloth to clean my messed backside before I pull my clothes back on.
Once she’s standing in front of me again, I smile demurely and cup her cheek once more. “Somehow a kiss would feel more intimate than the filthy thing we just did,” I murmur.
She nods into my hand, closing her eyes. “You’re right. Let us not do that.”
I chuckle. It dies on my lips quickly as the reality of my life comes back to me, now that the fun is over. “You truly wish to stay with Liolen Sesk?”
She shrugs her bony shoulders. “I don’t feel as strongly about your revolution as you do, Sephania. I’m sorry. Traveling and struggling is not how I wish to while away my nights.”
I snort. “Well, the overliege can certainly provide a life free fromstruggle.” I’m a bit disappointed in her admission. I’d been hoping she would become a champion for the interfolk people across Olhav and Nuhav.
A thought comes to me.Perhaps by Liolen’s side . . . she can. If she can stay on their good side, perhaps she can dictate and guide the Gilded Liege’s hand.“I think you can maybe do more good by Liolen’s side than by mine, strangely enough.”
“Perhaps.”
“Do you trust them?” I ask, furrowing my brow.
“No. They’re a Minister and an ancient vampire. But that doesn’t mean I can’t stay close to them.”
I pick up her implication, keeping her voice low so she doesn’t give herself away through these walls where someone might be listening.She can stay close to him . . . and thereforewatchhim. Quite good, as Skar would say.
“Besides. Liolen Sesk is . . . entertaining,” she finishes.
I cackle, nodding as I take her hand, squeeze lightly, and then head for the closed door of the throne room. “Yes, I can tell they are by the position we found them in when we first entered this room.”
Palacia ducks her head, a small flush of shame on her pinchable cheeks. “I find I can’t help myself in my new state.”
“Right.” I lightly shoulder her. “Perhaps next time you could, I don’t know, wait until we’re out of the room to get going?”
Palacia frowns. “But would you have begged for me if you’d not seen me in that state?”
My sly smile dies. She’s being serious and . . . “Well, erm, no. Probably not.”
Pala smiles. “Then I don’t regret it. I’m not sorry about what we’ve done.”
I bring Palacia into a hug, careful not to get her face too close to my chest for fear it might restart the whole lustful situation. “I’m not either, Pala.”
When I pull her to arm’s length, I reach into my tunic and find one of the Silverblood tinctures. Palming the small potion, I surreptitiously hand her the vial and close her little hand around it. “This is a solution of my blood. When you feel ready—ifthe time ever comes where you’d like to find your human side again—drink it.”
She clenches her jaw. “This will . . . change me back?”