"Kanojo no namae o kuchi ni dasu na."
"What—I don't—"
"Her name. Does not belong. In your mouth."
—The blast, the heat, Kevin and Danny running TOWARD the car, not away—
My hands close around his throat. Lift him. Pin him against the wall. His feet kick uselessly, expensive shoes scraping plaster.
—Following my orders. Evacuate the family. They made it to the vehicle. I cleared it myself—
Adrian claws at my wrists. His broken wrist makes the angle wrong. He is weakening already.
—Secondary device. The one I did not see coming. Remote detonation. Professional work—
"I will not fail another family."
I do not know if I am speaking to Adrian or to myself. To Kevin. To Danny. To Yuki's ghost.
Adrian's face goes red. Then purple. His fingers scrape weaker against my forearms.
Then, barely conscious, blood bubbling at the corner of his mouth, drowning in his own failure, he rasps one last attempt at control.
"She... wanted... cara always wanted..."
Cara.
Again. Even now. Even dying. He tries to claim her.
—Yuki's paper star in the wreckage. Yellow, singed but intact. Five hundred and thirteen, if you counted the ones that survived—
The last thread of my control snaps.
Everything whites out.
When I come back to myself, Adrian is not moving.
The penthouse is destroyed. Lamp broken on the floor. Chair overturned. Blood on the carpet, the desk, the wall where I slammed him. My knuckles are split open, my blood mixing with his.
His chest rises. Falls. Barely.
Not dead yet.
I stand. My breathing comes ragged, uncontrolled. Japanese words sit heavy on my tongue—prayers, curses, I cannot tell the difference anymore.
I found one of Yuki's stars afterward. Blue. I still have it in a box I have never opened.
I cross to the side table. Pick up my grandfather's tanto. The weight is familiar in my hand.
Four counts in. Hold. Four counts out.
My breathing steadies. The white recedes.
I crouch beside Adrian. His eyes flutter open, one swollen nearly shut, the other unfocused, wandering. He sees the blade. Something like recognition flickers through the damage.
"Do you know what this is?"
He tries to speak. Blood gurgles. No words form.