She’s the kindest woman I know.
She tapes a butterfly bandage over the worst of it and finally looks at me and asks what went down. I had called her on the way here, telling her Chief and Travis got into a fight, but now Igive her every single detail, feeling like I don’t take a breath until I am done. She listens without a single ounce of judgment.
“He said we can’t ever go back,” I whisper at the end, and tears burst forth again.
Mom’s eyes soften. “He doesn’t even know how to live a life without you, honey. But you might have to give him a minute to remember that.”
“She’s right,” Travis says, voice hoarse. “But I should have told him. I fucked up.”
It’s quiet then. So quiet that I hear a car engine grumble past, slowing at the curb, tires sending up a swan song of rainwater. My mother’s eyes flicker to the window, but she doesn’t move.
“He hates us both.”
“No, he doesn’t. He’s a good man, under all that noise,” Mom says. “He wants what’s best for you. It’s just—he doesn’t know what that is anymore.” She gives me a look that finds every hidden child in me. “He loves you more than life itself.”
I know it’s supposed to help, but hearing it only sharpens the ache. Because I love him too.
The doorbell rings, catching us all off guard.
For a second, I think I’ve hallucinated it, but Travis’s whole body goes rigid in his seat. Mom stands, hands the peroxide to me, and tells me to stay there. Then she disappears toward the door. I hear the murmur of voices. I know that sound. I know the tone before I hear my name, “Violet!”
Chief’s in the house.
He fills the kitchen in seconds, his face still bent with rage. His boots are still caked in mud, jeans stained up to the knees, hair soaked. “I am going to speak to my daughter, alone.”
Travis stands, his fists clenched by his side. “No.”
“Don’t push me, boy. I will make that other eye so fucking black your rockstar days will be over.”
Mom steps between them. “I’m quite certain we can do this in a civil manner. Everyone needs to sit down.”
They do as she asks.
My mother has that calm control over people.
Chief turns to Travis, his jaw tight. “You want to tell her the truth, or should I?”
“I have told her. Every fucking thing.” Travis sets his jaw. “Stop making this about you, because it’s not about you. It’s about so much more.”
Chief slams his fist on the table. “You think this is about me? You think I like this? I’ve been down this road, kid. I’ve seen what it turns people into.” He jabs a finger at Travis. “I have pulled you out of the darkest fucking moments in your life, moments she doesn’t even know about. Maybe your girl here believes your shit, but I don’t. I’m not going to let her get dragged through your dirt.”
“What are you talking about?” I whisper, shaking my head in confusion.
“He ever tell you he was a full-blown fucking addict?”
I look at Travis. I’m looking for a denial, a flinch, a protest. Anything.
He exhales, running his hand through his hair before looking at me. “I went through a dark time.”
Chief growls, “You almost died, asshole. Your little rockstar life, your little party-boy dreams. You think she wants that?”
“Stop,” I breathe. It’s all coming loose inside me. “That’s not fair. He’s—he’s been trying. We have all had difficult times. I believe he is doing the best he can.”
Travis looks to me, his eyes full of so much love it almost hurts to keep eye contact.
“‘Trying’ isn’t enough,” Chief says. “He might be doing well now, Violet, but what about two years from now? Five? When he’s more famous and the entire world wants a piece of him. Doyou think you’re going to be enough to keep all those demons away?”
I don’t know what to say. The air in my lungs feels like it’s suffocating me.