The rain is relentless, soaking us through. Every inch of me sparks and aches and I don’t know if I want to cry or scream. I gasp his name and he groans, the sound vibrating down my throat. Then his hands slide under my dress, rough and freezing. He palms my breasts, his fingers soft, yet hungry, and the sensation is so sharp it makes me whimper.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters. His mouth finds my neck, jawline, ear. He bites, hard, right at the base of my throat. I clench my thighs, desperately. I want him to keep going. I want him to never stop.
I shove his hand down, guiding him, showing him exactly what I want. He’s inside my panties in seconds, fingers cold but his touch setting me on fire. He curses softly, like he can’t believe I’m real. I rock against his hand, desperate, shameless, and when he slides a finger inside me I nearly black out. I claw at his back, pull him down to kiss me, to swallow the sound. He pumps in time with the crashing waves, relentless, driving, and I’m so close, so close—
I arch, then shatter, clutching his hand like a lifeline while I come apart under him, every muscle a live wire. It takes me a minute to even breathe again.
God damn.
When I open my eyes, he’s watching me, hungry, his entire body tense. I pull him in and kiss him again, slow this time, softer. He tastes like salt and longing and something I can’t even name. He rolls away, lying flat in the sand, the rain pelting down.
I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, but I crawl next to him, nestle my head on his chest, hand resting over his heart. We don’t speak. We just listen to the rain, both of us raw, both of us ruined, both of us needing this like air.
I trace a finger along his collarbone. "Trav?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Sing something."
He hesitates. "Like what?"
"Anything."
He pauses a moment, then his voice breaks through the sound of the waves—low, rough at the edges, but pure in the middle. The notes vibrate through his chest and into my palm. It's that Ed Sheeran song, the one about love, and something inside me splinters. Before I can stop them, tears mix with the rainwater on my face.
"Shit," he whispers, pulling me closer. "Didn't mean to wreck you."
"It's not—" I press my face against his neck, breathing him in. The weight of how much I've missed him crushes my lungs.
When I can speak again, I look up. "Do you truly believe in love?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"The kind that needs an answer."
"I believe in this. Whatever the hell this is. Do you?"
I take a deep breath. I want to believe him, every inch of me does, but I don’t know if I can anymore. "No. Love breaks people, Travis."
"So do cars. Doesn't stop us from driving." His fingers slide into my hair. "You stopped living because you were afraid of the crash."
I look away, his words cutting too close. Then he shifts, voice casual in a way that makes my stomach drop.
"Been meaning to ask—where's Lil these days? Haven't seen her around. You two were thick as thieves."
My body goes cold. I pull away, suddenly needing air. "Can we go?"
He frowns. "What? Did I—"
"Travis," I cut him off, standing. "Are you honestly telling me you don’t know?”
He sits up, staring at me. I can’t read his expression in the dark, but the shadows of his face tell me he looks confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Chief never told you?”
“Chief doesn’t say anything about anything.”
The rain feels heavier now, each drop like a small stone. "Lillian is dead."