I smile.Thank you again
Him:See you tomorrow?
Me:Yeah night
Him:Night honey sleep tight
I turn off my phone and slide it under my pillow.
I think for a bit.
Then I go over to the door, open it, and peer through. The coast is clear.
Creeping out, I go over to the coffee table. The engagement ring sits there, glittering.
I pick it up and put it back on. Then I return to bed and slide under the covers.
I fall asleep with a smile on my face, warmed through at the thought of him sayingYou’re a beautiful girl Chess.
Chapter Sixteen
Chessie
The next morning, the first thing I think when I open my eyes is Oh My God. I didn’t really sext with Kingi last night. Did I? I snatch up my phone and open it hurriedly, and it goes straight to the messages page. I scroll up in disbelief, my face growing hot as I re-read some of the things he said the night before.
I’ll hold you down and fuck you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Are you wet for me, honey? Are you going to come for me?
Oh God oh God oh God. What have I done?
I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. Deep breaths, Chessie. It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not as if you really had sex with him.
But I vaguely remember thinking last night that itwaslike having sex with him. It was so intimate, just the two of us in our own private virtual world, voicing our fantasies about each other, exchanging the most personal details. I think about him coming on the carpet and press my lips together to stop the giggle that threatens to leak out. It’s not funny.
But it is funny, just a bit. Maybe I’m being too strait-laced about this. I let out a long breath. Jesus, Chessie, lighten up a bit. Ultimately what harm has been done? I feel as if I’m wearing a black bra beneath a white top—my inexperience and naivety is showing through. People do this all the time. But you can’t catch a disease from it. You can’t get pregnant. It’s cheeky and naughty, but in the end it’s harmless. The worst that can happen is that one of you takes more meaning from it emotionally, and obviously that’s going to be me. I just have to open my eyes and accept the reality. We’d both had too much to drink, we’retwo young healthy people who are currently without partners, and we got carried away. He’s not madly attracted to me. This isn’t the romance of the century. It was a one-off bit of fun that doesn’t mean a thing.
Content that I’ve partitioned it off into a box from which it can’t escape, I decide it’s time to get on with my day and slide out of bed.
I shower and dress, pulling on a tee and a pair of cargo pants. It’s Sunday, and I don’t normally work on Sundays, but I took a few hours off yesterday, and I want to make up for it this morning.
Lisa is in the kitchen, buttering some toast. “Morning,” she says as I come out.
“Morning.” I go over to the coffee machine and turning it on.
“How did it go with Kingi last night?” she asks. “Was it a good conversation?”
Suddenly, I don’t want to tell her the details. In the past, with Ria, we’ve sometimes discussed our sex lives, maybe laughed over a silly incident or talked over something we’re concerned about. But what happened last night feels like a very sweet, private moment. It’s not something I want to share.
So I say, “Yeah, we had a good chat. I said we’d catch up maybe later today and talk a bit more about it.”
“Oh, that’s good. I checked Korero by the way, and there’s no sign yet of anything about Sabrina.”
I feel a surge of relief. Of course it’s still early, but she did say she was going to tell them first thing. Has she changed her mind? Was it really just a threat to throw Kingi off guard?
After tipping the espresso into my takeaway cup, I steam some milk, pour it over the hot coffee, and give it a stir. “Oh, I forgot to ask, did Ria come home?”
She studies her toast for a moment. Then she lifts her gaze to mine and gives a small shake of her head. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs.