Me:It wasn’t your fault
Him:I know, but I’m still sorry. It was embarrassing for you and humiliating
For some reason, it makes me feel better that he realizes that. He could have said this was all fake, and so it shouldn’t have had an impact like that on me. But he understands that even though it’s not real, I still have feelings for him. I’m human, and because we’ve kissed and we’re in this strange No Man’s Land between having a relationship and not having a relationship, Sabrina’s actions have affected me.
Me:Thank you
Him:You know I’d never knowingly hurt you
Me:I know
Him:Good I’m glad you realize that
Me:What are you going to do?About Sabrina, I mean?
Him:There’s nothing I can do except ignore her and deny any accusations she makes
Me:It’ll be a scandal, though
Him:Yeah
Me:Do you think she’ll still tell the press even though we didn’t announce the engagement tonight?
Him:I don’t know. I suspect not. I think she only did it to stop us announcing, and it had the desired effect, so…
I unscrew the lid from my bottle of water, have a few mouthfuls, and replace the lid. I sit there for a moment in the semi-darkness, thinking about what he said.
Thirty seconds later, the phone buzzes again.
Him:You okay?
Me:Yeah, just thinking
Him:She’s not pregnant. And if she is, it’s not mine
Me:You can’t be sure of that
Him:I am sure. The condoms were mine, and new. I never used an oil-based lubricant. And the sex wasn’t energetic enough to break any of them
I bite my lip to stop myself smiling. It’s not a smiling matter.
Him:The breakage rate is 1-3%
Me:1-3% means it happens to someone
Him:I get that. But I suspect it covers those people who don’t use it properly and don’t admit it. I know how to use a condom
I glare at my phone.
Me:I’m sure you do
Him:Ouch
I blow out a breath.
He’s quiet for a while, and then a long message comes through.
Him:I’m just saying, I know it didn’t break. Look, I have several colleagues who are trying to get pregnant, and it’s not as easy as it seems. Technically yeah, of course it could happen anytime you have sex, and it can happen the first time. But it’s extremely unlikely while wearing a condom and using it right,with no breaks, no slippage etc. If there was any obvious issue we’d have discussed using the morning after pill. I’m convinced I couldn’t have made her pregnant. I was very, very careful about it.