I want to kiss her again.
I can’t, though. Scarlett warned me that I had to be careful not to hurt Chessie. I know girls like sex as much as guys do, and it’s possible that she might be interested in a short fling, but we’re friends, and if she ends up developing feelings for me, I could lose her, and I don’t want that. I value her friendship, and I need to be mature about this and remember it’s all an act. I can’t use her and move on the way I normally do.
The thought makes me uncomfortable, and I lower my arms and move back. She waits for a moment, a frown flickering on her forehead, then goes over and sits on the sofa by the window.
“So have you had anyone else mention the engagement?” I ask, taking one of the armchairs.
“Yeah. Practically everyone I know.” She studies her nails.
“Something bothering you?” I ask.
She shrugs. “They’re all incredibly shocked. ‘Oh my God, Chessie, I don’t believe it, how on earth did you manage to hook someone like that…’” Her lips twist.
I frown, baffled. “You’re kidding me?”
“It surprises you?”
“Well, yeah. You’re gorgeous. You could have any man you laid eyes on.”
She gives a short laugh. “I really couldn’t.” Her expression softens. “But that’s very sweet. It just makes it clear to me how different our backgrounds are, though.”
“I’m not sure what you mean. You’re talking as if I’m some kind of lord and you’re a serving wench. There’s no class system here.”
“Isn’t there? We might not have lords and serving wenches—nice description of me, by the way—but your family is exceptionally wealthy. Mine is very poor. How much money we have bleeds into every part of our lives. It shapes who we are.”
“You’re saying we have a socioeconomic class system,” I say.
“Am I? I guess.”
“Where social standing is based on wealth, income, education, and power. Yes, you’re probably right, we do have that here.”
“There’s no probably about it. We’re not the same, Kingi. I mean, I knew that, especially as your father mentioned it, but I didn’t realize the difference was so marked.”
I look over as there’s a knock at the door, and nod as the barista comes in with our coffees. “Thanks, Nate,” I say, and he leaves them on the coffee table. “Can you close the door behind you?”
“Sure.” He glances at Chessie, smiles, then goes out and closes the door.
She shifts on the sofa. “I should get back to work.”
“Not yet,” I say softly, picking up my coffee and gesturing for her to do the same. “Come on, talk to me.”
She picks up the cardboard takeaway cup and studies the Midnight Club logo on the front.
“I don’t like you saying we’re not the same,” I tell her. “Money is nothing. It’s ephemeral, and it can be lost as easily as it’s gained.” As I say the words, I remember that her brother is a gambler, and wince. “Sorry, I know you’re more than aware of that. But my point is that it’s not important in the big scheme of things.”
“That’s so easy to say when you have it! Of course it’s important, Kingi. I don’t blame you for not understanding; you’ve always had it, and it’s impossible to understand what it’s like to not have something. But when you don’t have money, it’s all you think about. Your whole world revolves around it. Do you have enough to pay the rent? Are you going to wake up tomorrow to a new bill, or will something break down that you have to fix—the car, the washing machine? You’ve never known what it’s like to have to choose whether to eat or pay the electricity bill.”
“Jesus, Chess…” The thought that she’s had to do that horrifies me.
“That’s the kind of decision people like me have to make every day. My decisions aren’t where I’m going on holiday this year, or which car should I buy, or how many dresses do I need? My choices involve how much money I can afford to give my parents and still have enough to pay for my room. Saving up the coins in my purse for Christmas presents at the end of the year. Fighting the urge to put it all on my credit card, because it’s so easy to do that…” She’s becoming tearful.
“Do you have a lot of debt?” I ask gently.
She rubs her nose. “I’m not too bad. Not as much as some of my friends. I don’t have a student loan, which makes it easier. I do okay, and the money you gave me will help me pay off what little debt I do have. I’m very grateful for that, thank you.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me.”
She sips her coffee. “I suppose I’m just surprised that our worlds are so different now. When you’re a kid, you don’t think about money. You’re all equal. And of course I’ve watched you grow up, and seen the Midnight Club being built, and read the headlines. I knew you were on a different path… I just didn’t realizehowdifferent. And talking to the board, I suppose it sankin how vast that gulf is between us. I could see that Mikaere didn’t believe us.”