“That must have been very hard for you,” I say softly. I wonder whether she’ll have nightmares about it. “Are you worried about him?”
She thinks about it, then shrugs. “Yes… but Kingi said that now everyone knows how Daddy feels, they can help him get better.”
“That’s right.”
“I love him,” she says in a small voice.
“Of course you do.”
“I want him to be better.”
I stroke her hair. “He will be, sweetie. Try not to worry too much.”
She cuddles the owl plushie to her, reaches over and pats Bearcub, then looks at the lamp that’s glowing in the semi darkness.
“I’ll just be in the living room,” I tell her. “And I’m sleeping next door. If you want me at all, just call out and I’ll come running, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight darling.” I bend and kiss her forehead. “See you in the morning.”
She looks so young and small lying there. My eyes sting as I go out of the room, leaving the door open a crack.
I walk down the corridor into the living room, pushing the door partway closed so I can hear her, but we don’t disturb her if we have the TV on, and then stand by the sofa, feeling a sudden sweep of emotion.
“Babe…” Kingi was flicking through Netflix, but he gets up now, comes over, and wraps his arms around me. “Aw…”
“So much in our lives is out of our control,” I whisper.
“I know.” He rubs my back, and I bury my nose in his tee.
“It’s horrible feeling so helpless.”
“Yeah.” He kisses the top of my head.
I rest my cheek on his chest and look out the front window. It’s completely dark out, and there’s no moon, so the Pacific is just a sea of blackness. As I watch, it begins to rain lightly, pattering against the windows.
“It’s going to be all right,” Kingi says. “I promise.”
My throat tightens, and I move back a little.
He cups my face and looks down at me. I think he’s going to kiss me, but he pauses, and I know what’s going through his mind. I’m emotional and vulnerable, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of me. And that’s fair enough.
But what about if I want to be taken advantage of?
I need comfort. I want to be touched. I need someone to show me they have feelings for me. And I want to kiss, and be kissed in return.
Lifting up onto my tiptoes, I press my lips against his. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, or whether there’s any future for the two of us. All I know is that, right now, I want him, and he’s here, and I’m not going to let the opportunity pass.
Chapter Twenty-One
Kingi
I’m twenty-eight, I’ve had my fair share of partners, and I like to think I’m experienced with the opposite sex. But when Chessie kisses me, I’m so stunned that I stand still for a moment, frozen in place.
I know the news that Thea was the one who found her dad after he took his overdose shocked Chessie, and I could see that when she came out of Thea’s room she looked emotional, which didn’t surprise me, because when I took Bearcub in there, she seemed so tiny and fragile in the big bed.
So I hugged her as a friend. I wanted to comfort her. But I didn’t expect her to kiss me.