“Okay.”
I start the car and head off into the traffic.
“Mum said you and Kingi were engaged,” Thea says. “Are you going to marry him?”
Suddenly, I can’t bring myself to lie to her. I know there was a clause in the contract that said I mustn’t tell anyone, and if I tell her, she’ll probably tell her mum, but right now I don’t care about that. I know with certainty that Kingi won’t mind.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, okay? I’m not going to ask you not to tell your mum and dad because that wouldn’t be fair, but not many know this. Kingi and I are pretending to be engaged.”
“Why?”
As I drive, I explain about the Foundation, and that the board told him it would be best if he was in a committed relationship. And I tell her that he asked me to be his fake fiancée in return for money.
“I wanted to help him,” I say, “and I also wanted to help your parents, and Grandma and Grandpa, and the business. So I said yes.”
“Couldn’t he have just loaned you the money?” she asks sagely. “If he’s really rich?”
“He would have given me the money,” I say softly. “But I didn’t feel comfortable taking it from him without giving something in return.”
“Why?”
I consider her question, looking at the trees to the left of Pacific Parade as I drive. “Money is an odd thing,” I say slowly. “Everyone says it doesn’t buy happiness. But the truth is that it does. Or at least, it buys comfort and contentment and peace of mind. Those who do have it will never understand what it’s like to struggle without it. There’s this assumption that you’re poor because you’re not working as hard as they do. Or you’re not as dedicated as they are. Do you know what it means when you say someone is superior?”
“They think they’re better than you?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Is that what Kingi’s like?”
I open my mouth to reply. Then I close it again. To say yes would be unfair, because he’s not like that at all. “No,” I say eventually. “He’s not. I… I think the fault’s mine, actually. He called me an inverted snob, and I think he’s right.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s a person who criticizes things liked by people who they see as richer or cleverer than them. I was self-conscious going to the Midnight Club. I thought I stood out because I’m notwealthy or university educated. He said I’m the only one who was bothered by that.”
“Was he right?”
“No… Everyone is very conscious of where they are in the social ladder. We all know when other people are richer than we are, or better educated. It’s impossible to hide the fact that we don’t have money or education, so we say we’re proud of being where we are, and claim we’re content to stay there.”
“Everyone wants to be rich,” she says.
I smile at her in the mirror. “Yes, you’re right.”
“I don’t understand something.”
“What’s that, sweetheart?”
“You gave Dad money didn’t you? To give to the men to pay off the loans?”
“Yes.”
“Then why wasn’t he happy? Why did he take those pills?”
My throat tightens. “I don’t know. But it’s important that you know it’s nothing you’ve done.”
“I know. Mum said he’s mentally ill.”
“Yes. It sounds horrible, I know. It just means something isn’t working right in his brain, that’s all. It’s nobody’s fault.”