"How this feels too good to be temporary," I admit before I can stop myself.
His hand stills on my back.I tense, waiting for him to pull away, to remind me of all the reasons this can't work.Instead, his arms tighten around me.
"I know," he says quietly."I've been trying to convince myself this is just physical, but..."
"But?"
He's quiet for so long I think he won't answer."But I think about you when I'm grading papers.I think about you when I'm making coffee in the morning.I think about you when I hear a song that reminds me of our nights at Club Red.It's not just physical, Skye.It hasn't been for a long time."
My heart hammers against my ribs.I prop myself up on my elbow to look at him, searching his face for any sign he's just saying what I want to hear.His eyes are clear, unguarded in a way I've never seen before.
"I know it's complicated," he continues, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear."I know there are a million reasons why we shouldn't do this.But when I'm with you, those reasons don't seem to matter as much.I don't want to stop."
"I don't want to stop either," I whisper, the confession both terrifying and freeing."But I'm scared, Gage.Of what happens if we're caught.Of what happens when the semester ends and I'm not your student anymore.What if this is just forbidden fruit syndrome and once it's allowed, it loses its appeal?"
He cups my face, thumb brushing my lower lip."Do you really believe that?That I only want you because I shouldn't?"
I hesitate, searching his eyes."I don't know because I've never had someone like you want me before."
"Someone like me?"
"Someone who could have anyone.Someone successful and brilliant and experienced."
His laugh is soft, almost sad."You think I'm some kind of prize?Skye, I'm a thirty-four-year-old professor who lives for his work and hasn't had a relationship last longer than six months since high school.You're the prize.You're brilliant and beautiful, and when you're in a room, I can't look anywhere else."
I lean down to kiss him soft and lingering.When I pull back, his eyes are dark, intense.
"I want this," I admit."I want you.Not just tonight, not just until the semester ends.I want to see where this goes."
He sits up, bringing me with him until I'm straddling his lap, our faces level.His hands cup my waist, warm and steady.
"Then let's figure it out," he says."Together."
"What happens tomorrow?"I ask, voice barely audible.
He sighs, pulling me closer."Tomorrow, we go back to being careful.We pretend in public.We keep our distance in class."His fingers trace the curve of my spine."But after hours?We find ways to be together.Quietly.Carefully.Until the semester ends and we don't have to hide anymore."
"And if we get caught?"
His jaw tightens."We won't.I won't let anything happen to you, Skye.Your future is too important."
The weight of what we're risking settles between us.My academic career, his job, both our reputations.But looking into his eyes, feeling his hands on my skin, I can't bring myself to care about the consequences.
"I trust you," I whisper.
I don't know what happens next.
But I know I trust him.
And right now, that's enough.
Chapter 19
Gage
ThemeetingroomatClub Red is quieter than usual, but the air is thick with purpose.We don't need loud voices or drama to feel the weight of what we're doing here.It's just the founders tonight.Just the core of us.Carter, Hunter, Ridge, Cade, Mase, Sawyer, Troy, and me.No outside drama.
I lean back in my chair, watching as Carter flips through a stack of papers.The glow from the chandelier above bounces off the polished surface of the conference table, casting gold streaks across our serious expressions.