And it hurts like hell.
Summer brushes my hair back gently."You love him."
"I don't know what I feel," I whisper."But it's not casual.I don't think it ever was."
Gemma squeezes my hand."You're not alone in this.We've got you.No matter what happens."
"I just...I wanted more.And now I don't even know if I'm allowed to want that."
"You are," Summer says."And he wants more too.He told you he's going to fix it.That means something."
"I want to believe him.I do.But what if he can't?What if this is really the end?"
"Then we'll help you pick up the pieces," Gemma says."But until then, hold on to hope."
We lay there in silence, the three of us tangled together like we're kids again.And for the first time since I walked out of Gage's room, I start to believe maybe, just maybe, I won't have to go through this heartbreak alone.
I cry myself to sleep that night in my friends’ arms.
Because I want him.
And I can't have him.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
And it hurts more than I thought it would.
Chapter 13
Agent X
Anothermeeting.Anotherdamnroom full of suits.
I sit stiffly across from three of them, the table between us a sterile slab of metal, the kind that makes everything feel colder.They're flipping through a dossier, one I compiled and handed over myself, but watching them dissect my work makes my stomach churn.
The lead agent, Thompson, clears his throat."Your surveillance of the building adjacent to Club Red picked up this individual."
He slides a still photo across the table.It’s a man entering the building.Tall, dark hair, sunglasses, no expression.
"That's Mase's guy," I say, leaning forward."Name's Lucien.No priors.Just enough of a ghost to make him dangerous.He's muscle for Mase, but I haven't seen him operate directly inside Club Red before."
Another agent, McDaniel, jots notes while eyeing me over his glasses."What's the connection?You think Mase is using Club Red as a front?"
"Too soon to say.Lucien was in the building for less than five minutes.Walked in alone.Walked out alone.No obvious contact, but there are blind spots.He could've met with someone discreetly."
Thompson leans back, fingers steepled."We've had Mase's family on our radar for over a decade.Narcotics, trafficking, racketeering.Every time we get close, he vanishes.If he's moving through that building, we need to know why."
"It's possible he's testing the waters," I offer."Seeing if there's potential for laundering or recruiting.Could also be unrelated."
"We don't think so," the third agent, Delgado, speaks up."We've seen similar patterns in other cities.Short visits, minimal contact, same people.Then six months later, someone ends up dead.Or missing."
"So, you want me to shift focus?From Club Red to Mase?"
Thompson nods."Officially, yes.Mase is now the bureau's top priority in this region.But you've got the intel on Club Red.If there's overlap, we need to leverage that.Find the back door."
It's not what I wanted to hear.Club Red has been my mission for years.But if Mase is the thread that unravels the whole operation, I'll pull it.